was at the height of a promising tennis
career when she had a routine surgical procedure
that catastrophically sent her into an ecstatic
world of light, beauty and love on the "other
side." She was Home – Home in
the Light! The following are excerpts from
Searching For Home, which describes
her near-death experience. She also has
website as well. Her book is a powerful
story of a young woman's love, hope and
healing after a near-death experience.
Ken Ring said this about her experience:
Laurelynn Martin's account of her near-death
experience and changed life can change yours.
Many books have been written about such
encounters but this is surpassingly rich
in the spiritual insights it offers. More,
it tells a humdinger of a story –
surely one of the most inspirational journeys
of transformation and healing. It deserves
to become a classic."
She helped me slide onto the operating table
and gave me a motherly look. "Don't
worry. We know it's your first time. We'll
make this a most pleasant experience for
With those reassuring words, I drifted off
to sleep. I awakened and found myself floating
above my body, off to the right side, looking
down, watching the attempts of the medical
team trying to revive the lifeless form
below. I viewed the scene with detachment.
The surgical team was frantic. The color
red was everywhere, splattered on their
gowns, splattered on the floor, and a bright
pool of a flowing red substance, in the
now wide open abdominal cavity. At that
moment, I didn't make the connection that
the body being worked on was my own! It
didn't matter anyway. I was in a state of
floating freedom, experiencing no pain and
having a great time. I wanted to shout to
the distressed people below, "Hey,
I'm okay. It's fantastic up here,"
but they were so intent on their work, I
didn't want to interrupt their efforts.
I had traveled to another realm of total
and absolute peace. With no physical body
my movement was unencumbered. Thought was
the avenue for travel. I floated up through
blackness where there was no fear, no pain,
no misunderstandings, but instead a sense
of well-being. I was enveloped by total
bliss in an atmosphere of unconditional
love and acceptance. The darkness was warm
and soft, a blanket of velvety love, stretching
endlessly. The freedom of total peace was
intensified beyond any ecstatic feeling
I've ever felt on Earth. In the distance,
a horizon of glorious white, golden light
beckoned me forward.
As the brilliance increased and the encompassing
rays stretched to meet me, I felt that time,
as we know it, was nonexistent. Time and
existence were a blending and a melding
of the past, present and future into this
one moment. A sense of all-knowing enveloped
me. Every part of my being was satisfied
with an unconditional love beyond description.
All questions were answered. An inner peace
without striving or achieving was created
It flashed in my mind; this was the pleasant
experience the nurse had spoken about. I
understood why she didn't elaborate. Words
and descriptions somehow lost the essence
of the experience.
As I admired the beauty of the light, I
was drawn closer, feeling the radiant warmth,
infinite love and lasting peace. I felt
as if I were home – home in the light.
Before I became further engulfed in the
light, I became aware of many spirits. They
surrounded, embraced and supported my journey
with their gentleness, knowledge and guidance.
I felt one of them approach from my right
upper side. This familiar presence came
forward and my feelings changed to sheer
joy when I discovered my thirty year old
brother-in-law, the one who had died seven
months earlier from cancer. My essence moved
to meet his essence.
I couldn't see with my eyes or hear with
my ears, yet I instinctively knew that it
was "Wills." I heard his smile,
saw his laughter and felt his humor. It
didn't make sense, but it made complete
sense. We were separate but we were also
one. It was as if I had come home and my
brother-in-law was here to greet me. I instantly
thought how glad I was to be with him, because
now I could make up for the last time I
had seen him before his death. I felt sad
and a bit guilty for not taking the time
out of my busy schedule to have a heart-to-heart
talk with him when he had asked me to. I
realized I was not being judged by him but
by myself. I was in his position –
dying, wanting to say goodbye to those I
loved, and then meeting people like myself
not "getting it" – not getting
that all the achievement, money or recognition
in the world cannot be taken with you when
you die. The only thing you take with you
is the love you give away.
Wills gave love away his whole life. In
a sense he was ready to leave our physical
world and continue his work in the spiritual
world. People, like my sister, who were
left behind without their beloved, sometimes
didn't understand. I would have to remember
to tell Gwen about my discovery.
The ones who depart are in a loving space
with much guidance, understanding and purpose.
Their wish upon departure is not to bring
sorrow and grief to others but to honor
the divine plan. It is their time for transition,
for the continued development of their soul.
Many times, the departed loved one will
work in ways to help, serve and guide others.
Wills' gentle guidance allowed me to view
my innocence. I understood, instantly, life
was about people, not pursuits. I was putting
pursuits first as a means to seek approval
and love from people. Once I understood,
I forgave myself for my actions and in the
act of forgiving I received love in abundance.
By giving love, one receives and experiences
a tremendous love from the universe.
Wills was like the "Spirit of Christmas
Past." By reviewing my past, I was
brought to new places of discovery within
myself. Many events were shown simultaneously.
I recalled two examples. When I was five
years old I teased Tammy Fowler, another
five year old girl, to the point of tears.
I was now in a unique position to feel what
Tammy felt. Her frustration, her tears,
and her feelings of separateness were now
my feelings. I felt a tremendous amount
of compassion for this child. I was Tammy
and needed love, nurturing and forgiveness.
My essence gave love to both of us –
a love so deep and tender, like the love
between a mother and child. I realized by
hurting another, I was only hurting myself.
Again, I was experiencing oneness.
The next incident was similar. I had made
fun of Billy Bradley, a scrawny, malnourished
asthmatic kid. He died when he was seventeen
years old from a cerebral aneurysm. He seemed
to be in the realm of existence I was in.
Yet, still I was not sure where I was. When
Billy was twelve, he had written me a love
letter that I rejected. I was experiencing
his pain which became my pain. At the same
time, I felt a tremendous amount of love
for this boy and myself. My contact with
him went beyond the physical and I felt
his soul. He had a vibrant, bright light
burning inside of him. Feeling his spirit's
strength and vitality was an inconceivable
moment especially knowing how much he physically
suffered when he was alive.
The message was clear. The message was –
Above and beyond anything else, one must
first learn to love oneself non-judgmentally
and unconditionally. Then one will actually
love all people and all things the same
I realized how important people were in
life, how important it was to accept them
and love them. And I finally understood
the old Mohegan Indian saying I had heard
when I was in Girl Scouts, "Never judge
another squaw until you have walked a mile
in her moccasins."
As I reviewed my life with Wills, my judgment
prevailed and I remember thinking, "I've
done worse things in my life." My question
was answered before I finished my thought.
All events in your life are significant.
To bring an understanding of all things,
even the experiences which you consider
insignificant, will bring you to places
of great awareness and compassion.
By the time my review was finished, I understood.
I was aware of an almost cathartic release.
I experienced emotion without the physical
signs of tears. It brought me to a deep
place of understanding and compassion. I
never took the time to think how my actions
affected others or how I treated myself.
I felt a grieving for all my unconscious
actions. With awareness of my unaware state,
I released all the grief I had ever caused
and joyfully moved into forgiveness.
Other thoughts were conveyed and I remember
thinking, "Wow, now I get it. Everything
about our existence finally makes sense."
I had more questions for Wills. The transference
of information was immense and reassuring.
He kept saying, "All is known. You
have simply forgotten."
I didn't feel like I knew anything; yet,
there was a place in me that knew everything.
I asked Wills if I could stay. He said, "It's
not your time yet. There's been a mistake.
You have to go back."
I remember thinking, "Okay, I'll go
back, but I can get back up here."
At that same instant his thoughts were mine, "You
can't take your own life. Suicide, for you,
isn't the answer. That won't do it. You
have to go back and live your life's purpose."
I responded, "I understand, but I don't
want to go back."
Wills' thought came to me again, "It's
okay. We're not going anywhere. We'll be
here for you again." His last communication
was, "Tell your sister, I'm fine."
With those final thoughts, I felt myself
going back, dropping downward through darkness.
I was not afraid. Instantly, I felt myself
slam into my body.