1. Out of Her
"I bent over to pick
up the plastic tubing. As I began to straighten
up, I accidentally bumped the tubing on the
edge of the tank. The water suddenly squirted
across my face - the pain was so sharp, it felt
as if a knife where slitting my cheek! I
screamed from the shock and pain, then felt
a moment of temporary relief as the water crossed
over my molars. My reprieve was short-lived,
however, as the electrified water rushed into
"As my body bent
over in shock, I had the most uncanny knowledge
that death was ahead of me. I began to
mourn the loss of everything I'd known: the
Earth, my home, my friends - all that I'd been
aware of, all that I loved. Everything I'd believed
to be true and lasting was slipping away from
me. I was face to face with death, face to face
with the unknown.
"My body was thrown
backwards and to one side by the current. My
body crashed to the floor, thrown with such
force that my head went right through the drywall,
about a foot above the floor. I never felt the
injuries, however, because I was no longer in
my body. I was actually watching my electrocution
"How could I be out
of my body and still be alive?" I wondered,
"Suddenly, I was
aware that I was inside a vast, seemingly infinite
blackness. I wasn't sure where this blackness
was in relationship to the Earth, but for some
reason I was unafraid. My blackout period
was brief, for I now found myself back in my
home, but in a new form. I was transparent,
yet I still looked like me.
"How elated I felt!
Now, out of my body, I had no worries, no cares. Never
had I felt like this when I was 'alive.' My
entire spirit body was transparent, and I was
inside a glowing white light that extended about
three feet around me.
"At that moment,
an awareness overtook me - I am not my physical
body! This realization made me feel so
free, so wonderful! My spirit was glowing
with a white light that illuminated the entire
"Then, I was up near
the ceiling again. Everything still looked the
same - the furnishings, the walls - but there
was a new awareness about the dimension to the
scene - it had become transparent. I could see
everything more clearly than ever before, and
like a scientist, I found myself looking at
life through a microscope, discovering minuscule
particles of matter normally invisible.
"I was now aware
of the absence of physical sensations, yet I
was feeling a heightened sense of awareness
such as I'd never felt while alive. I knew I
was different from the 'Dianne' I had been,
but I also knew I was 'me.' It was similar
to looking at your reflection in a mirror; you
know you're not the reflection, but it does
appear to be you.
"Now, I saw that
everything was shrouded by a mist. Despite
a lack of gravity, I could easily control my
direction, and when I moved into the living
room, I noticed that I had just walked through
the glass coffee table. 'Wow! How
did I do that?' I marveled.
dog) suddenly entered the den and began nipping
at my face and pawing at my arm, trying to get
my body to wake up. I knew that his relentless
attempts to awaken my physical body wouldn't
work, yet I was proud of him for trying, and
even hoped his efforts might work. I wondered
where his chum, Penny, was, and suddenly I was
next to her in the backyard. I opened my mouth
to talk to her and felt my tongue moving, but
no sounds came out. I could distinctly hear
my voice, and then realized it was coming from
my mind. I tried several times to get Penny's
attention, yelling, 'Penny, can you see me?
Penny, can you hear me?' Apparently she didn't,
because there was no response.
"Next, I walked around
my backyard. As I looked through the walls of
my house toward the front sidewalk, I noticed
a man walking down the street. Eagerly, I flew
to him, right through the walls, and tried to
get his attention. Staring deeply into
his eyes, I said forcefully, 'Can you help me?
I need help.' Then I tried to shake his
shoulders, but he still didn't notice me. Frustrated,
I tried to touch his shoulder to get him to
look at me, and my hand went through his upper
right shoulder blade and out his back. This
"'What am I to do?'
I wondered, becoming upset when I realized that
the man could neither see nor hear me. Instantly,
I was back in my yard again, Penny beside me. I
noticed that whenever I felt any apprehension,
I was instantly moved to a place of greater
"On the way back
to the den, I stopped right in the middle of
the wall between rooms. I sensed that I
was to look down at something fantastic, and
as I gazed downward, I saw a long silver cord
coming out of my spirit body, right through
the cheesecloth-like fabric I was wearing. The
cord extended down and out in front of me, and
as I turned around, I saw that the silver cord
draped around and behind me, like an umbilical
cord. I followed it through the two hallway
walls and into my den, where I saw it attached
to the back of the head of my physical body. The
cord was about an inch wide and sparkled like
Christmas tree tinsel!
"As soon as I saw
that the silver cord was attached to my physical
body, my spirit body was thrust into a dark
tunnel. I moved through it with great speed,
traveling faster than I could have imagined
possible. Although the tunnel was filled
with an all consuming darkness, I felt peaceful
2. Her Life Review
"When I came to the
end of the darkness, I stepped into a new dimension. Here,
I could sense the presence of a loving spirit,
sent - I knew - by God to greet me. Then,
I was back at the site of my physical body. Back
and forth I traveled through the tunnel, several
times in succession, moving from the Other Side
to my electrocuted physical body and back again.
3. Her Higher Self
"Each time I emerged
from the tunnel, I was met by a radiant angelic
being who stood before me, smiling. The
being had no wings, and I sense it was female. She
was everything I'd ever dreamed an angel would
be. As she moved toward me, I walked to
meet her. Her love surrounded me, and my
spirit was filled with an almost unbearable
joy. The love this angelic being radiated
towards me made me feel that she cared more
about me than anyone else ever had or could. Her
love filled every particle of my being, every
thought, and every emotion within me. I felt
completely comforted and reassured.
"She 'spoke' by sending
words directly into my mind. 'How can I
hear her thoughts before she utters them?' I
wondered. Yet, at the same time I was hearing
her questions, I was answering them! This
marvelous being seemed to know all my thoughts
instantly, just as I immediately knew hers. Although
I was standing directly before her, I could
see her from every angle: front, back, top,
bottom, and both sides - like a cubist painting
"She walked closer
and stood with me; then, we were both lifted
about ten inches into the air, as if we were
on a platform moving upward. Extending
her arm before her, she indicated that I was
to look to my left. I did so, my heart and soul
completely open to her, for I knew God had sent
her to help me decide what I should do with
"As I turned my eyes
left, the entire scene changed into a life review,
a vivid, three-dimensional color display of
my entire life. Every detail of every second,
every feeling, every thought while I had been
alive on Earth was displayed before me in perfect
chronological order, from my birth until my
"At the same time,
to my amazement, I was re-living my entire twenty-eight
years simultaneously! The best experiences brought
me feelings of great joy, as if God were talking
to me through the angelic being, sharing the
highest moments of my life. I felt as if every
spirit in Heaven was watching with me, applauding
me and letting me know that God approved of
my caring, unselfish deeds. It was then
that I asked myself, 'Am I dead? Am I really
"As the life review
continued, I was shown two very special deeds
I had performed. As these scenes were displayed
before me, every emotion I had originally felt
returned in full force. I also felt as
if God and the angelic being were honoring me
for having performed those deeds.
"I will never forget
the love that surrounded me at that moment,
or the joy that ran through me. Can you
imagine being hugged by God and your angel? It's
an experience that defies description!
"The first deed I
witnessed had occurred the day I stopped my
car to help push a woman's stalled station wagon
out of mainstream traffic and into a supermarket
driveway. The driver had been struggling to
push the car by herself, and I felt compelled
to give her a helping hand. After I had
helped push her vehicle to safety, I rushed
back to my car, afraid of getting a ticket for
being double-parked. In my haste, I hadn't given
her a chance to thank me. While reviewing this
scene, I was filled with indescribable feelings
of love, which seemed to be directed to me from
angelic beings high above me.
"Then, my angel showed
me a second vision, a scene I'd forgotten. I
now saw myself at seventeen, when I'd worked
at a convalescent hospital after school. I
had grown fond of a toothless old woman who
was no longer able to speak clearly, and who
never had visitors. She liked to suck on
graham crackers before going to bed, but no
one wanted to serve her because when she had
finished, she would drool as she kissed the
entire length of the arm of the person feeding
her. While others avoided her, I willingly
fed her the cookies she adored, seeing how happy
this made her.
"When that scene
was replayed for me, I felt as if every loving
spirit in God's kingdom was thanking me in unison.
I was amazed that such an act could have meant
so much to God - and to me. I felt humbled and
"A glow surrounded
the radiant being as she presented my life review,
continuing to communicate with me telepathically.
As I viewed the scenes of my life, it felt as
if I were absorbing many books all at once with
"Finally, my life
review was finished, and I was whisked away
from the angelic being and returned to the tunnel.
This time, I seemed to be falling through it,
finally emerging in another room, in another
dimension. It was a world far more beautiful
than any I could ever have imagined, a place
of awesome serenity. The peace and calm
I felt surpassed any previous notions I had
had about Heaven, and I knew, in the deepest
part of my soul, that God was here."
"In this rapturous
place, I recognized that there were two aspects
of 'me.' My soul was my consciousness, everything
that had made me who I had been and what I had
become. My spirit, on the other hand, was
the part of me that was now transparent and
glowing, dressed in white.
4. One with the Light
"As I looked around
me, I initially found everything dimly lit.
Then, I clearly saw a canopy bed resting in
the center of an infinite vista stretched out
before me. The bed was actually glowing
within a Heavenly radiance which enveloped me
"To my astonishment,
I saw a duplicate of myself lying on the bed. 'How
can there be two of me? Or three of me?'
I wondered.' But I was instantly reassured by
the loving vibrations around me. The feeling
reminded me of being reassured by a dear, trusted
friend saying, 'Don't worry, all is well.'
"There were two things
I knew for certain: first, that I was Dianne,
and second, that my physical body was dead. I
also knew that the duplicate of Dianne on the
bed was another me, but I did not know what
she represented. Now, I was beginning to
feel as if I were in three places at once!
"One part of me was
the transparent Dianne on the bed. The
second was my physical body in the den, the
body that no longer had life. The third
part of me was my spirit, now out of its body.
This part of me remained conscious and aware
of all my experiences, both here and back on
"I knew beyond a
doubt that I wanted to stay in this magnificent
place, where I felt so loved, so accepted. 'How
does one feel accepted by a place? Let
me put it this way: as I walked toward the bed,
I could actually 'feel' Heaven all around me. The
rapture and peace were beyond my wildest imaginings,
and I wanted to stay here forever and ever.
"Do you remember
how it felt, long ago, to be held and rocked
in your mother's loving arms? Take this to the
hundredth power and you're still light years
away from the feeling of total peace and comfort
that surrounded me. I felt the love of every
mother in the universe being poured inside me
for now and for all eternity.
"Although the bed
before me was not my bed, the sheets looked
amazingly like my own. I could hardly believe
it when I realized that they were actually breathing,
filled with life! The canopy bed was also
alive, not made of the dense physical matter
as it would have been created from on Earth.
"As I walked closer
to the bed, it radiated such love to me that
I knew no earthly painter or craftsman could
have created it - not Leonardo da Vinci, not
Rembrandt, not Michelangelo, not Monet. This
bed had been made by God.
"Now, the Light was
welcoming me, inviting me to recline on this
Heavenly creation. The transparent 'me' was
gone, and as I lay down, I felt the lace caressing
me with rapture, peace, and love. I was moved
to tears of joy.
"At that moment,
I knew that nothing ever dies. Nothing
"I also knew that
I would never die. If I stayed in this place,
I knew I would be alive, but in a different
way than I had been before my electrocution.
I would still be Dianne, and I would still have
my memories, but I would also feel this unbelievable
love around me forever. How I longed to
"Then, I sense that
I must look to my right, through the lace. There,
I could see a pinpoint of Light coming from
the next room, the next dimension, the infinity
beyond. I knew I must see more clearly, so with
my right hand I lifted up the lace. I knew
I had no choice but to look."
"The pinpoint of
Light became a brilliant white beam a trillion
times brighter than the brightest sun imaginable,
and began to move toward me. At first,
it appeared to be bands of multifaceted light
being stretched and pulled together. I knew
this Light was the presence of God.
5. Her Guardian Angel
"I was awestruck,
overwhelmed by the Light, the love, the love
of God for me! I knew I could go into this Light,
which was part of a tremendous force. And,
although the Light was brighter than a thousand
suns, it didn't hurt my eyes.
"I was going to have
to choose between staying in the Light and going
back to Earth. Somehow, I knew that if
I went into the next room, into the Light, I
could never return to my body.
"I felt torn between
two desires: wanting to go into the Light, and
wanting to touch something tangible and retain
my connection with all that was physical. Both
desires grew stronger. The Light became
more intense, more radiant, more loving. As
I lifted the lace and extended my hand toward
the brilliance, wanting to touch the Light,
it rushed under the lace and touched the outstretched
middle finger of my right hand.
"As soon as the Light
touched me, I was transformed. The Light
and my spirit merged - I had entered the Light
of God, and all sense of my spirit body was
gone. My consciousness, fully alive, was now
totally connected to God.
"Within the Light,
I knew that everyone and everything is connected
to it. God is in everyone, always and forever.
Within the Light was the cure for all diseases;
within the Light was all the knowledge of every
planet, every galaxy, every universe. Indeed,
the Light was Wisdom and Love beyond all comprehension.
"Being one with the
Light was like suddenly knowing every grain
of sand on every planet, in every galaxy, in
every universe, and at the same time knowing
why God had put each grain of sand in its particular
place. The Light held within it the knowledge
of every book in every language, from the beginning
of creation to the end of time. The Light
knew why every author had put every wood exactly
where it was. The Light conveyed the message
that each gain of sand, each plant, rock, animal,
and human being has a purpose and that nothing
ever dies because after death, there is a new
life on the Other Side.
"This Light and my
spirit mingled for what felt like an eternity,
but eventually I began to sense with great urgency
that the time had come to choose whether I would
stay here or return to physical life. How
could I decide?"
"Suddenly, my spirit
body was back in the tunnel. Again, when
I emerged from the tunnel, the angelic being
was waiting for me. Now, I noticed that
her hair was brown and turned under just above
her heavenly shoulders. Each of her features
was now more clearly visible as I paid closer
attention to them. Breathing did not seem
necessary for her or for me, yet we were both
full of life. She looked at me and asked
telepathically, 'What do you want, Dianne?'
6. Dianne's Return
"I said, 'I want
to go into the Light, and I want to touch things.'
"She asked me thousands
of questions all at the same time, and I responded
to them, communicating directly from my mind
"Her angelic voice
asked, 'Have you ever felt this much love?'
"I answered, 'No.' 'Have you ever felt this
much joy?' 'No.' 'Have you ever felt this much
peace?' 'No.' 'Have you ever felt this much
rapture?' 'No.' 'Have you ever experienced this
much bliss?' 'No.' 'Have you ever felt this
much kindness?' 'No.'
"Thousands of questions,
one within the other, one on top of another,
all of the questions at once, yet separately.
"I wanted desperately
to go into the Light again. Then, the radiant
being asked, 'Are you sure, Dianne?'
"Yes," I replied.
"Of course I was sure!"
"I was suddenly thrust
forward through the tunnel, and when I looked
down, I was aghast to see my physical body below
me. It looked dead and lifeless, but this time
I was disinterested whether I saved it or not.
"What mattered to
me was the Light. I wanted the Light. I was
again thrust forward through the tunnel. The
angelic being was still there, waiting for me
to truly decide about my life, waiting for me
to decide about my death, waiting for me to
decide about my future.
"This time she was
even more radiant, more loving. I had never
imagined feeling such bliss, and I felt boundless
love for her. She asked, 'Have you ever been
in a world without pain?'
"I answered, 'No.'
"She asked, 'Have
you ever been in a world without war?'
"I answered, 'No.'
"Have you ever been
in a world without anger, without rage, without
grief, without sadness, without envy, without
poverty, without jealousy, without worry, without
of questions, all at the same time. I answered
them all the same way - emphatically, 'No.'
'I knew that no other place in the universe
could feel as good, as loving, as peaceful as
this Heavenly place.
"For some reason,
however, the angelic being sent me into the
tunnel again, back and forth through many tunnels.
I wondered why. I still wanted to 'touch,' but
I wanted the Light - both desires tugging at
"I finally found
myself back in my house, once again looking
down at my physical body. This time, I
realized that my physical body had the potential
to live again. I had begun to care less and
less whether I returned to my physical body,
but at this moment, looking down at my body,
my attitude underwent a change. I thought, 'How
sad; she has done so very little.' I realized
'Dianne' hadn't touched as many people as she
could have while alive. And I realized
how life could be enriched by touching others
lives more deeply and meaningfully.
"While alive, as
Dianne, I had always known that my life was
full of certain pleasures: a beautiful home,
a good job, a nice car, warm friends, a wonderful
family, a beloved best friend, and a musical
career I loved. 'But none of these matter
any more,' I thought, reversing myself again.
Only the Light mattered. Only God mattered.
"To my surprise,
I began to feel a persistent pulling sensation
from about four inches above my navel. I tried
to resist it, for I sensed a new process was
beginning, one that might take me from this
place, from God. I didn't want to leave behind
such feelings of elation. Yes, I wanted
to touch things, but I wanted the Light even
"Suddenly, I was
rushing through the tunnel again. When
I emerged, I was up near the ceiling in the
den, looking down at my physical body below
me. Then, without warning, I was thrust
swiftly back into my body, entering through
the back of my neck, with my spirit legs and
arms together, like a diver doing a jackknife.
"As I re-entered
my body, I knew that the God within me could
never die, and I knew that I could never die. For
a moment, I actually saw myself half in and
half out of my body. Then, with a jolt,
I landed fully back in my body.
"Oh, my God," I thought,
"How could I have chosen to come back? I want
to be in the Light again." Tears ran down my
cheeks and I wept, desolate about the choice
that had been made. 'Had it really been
my choice?' I couldn't believe that I had decided
to come back.
"I now believe that
one reason I was sent back was to help people
feel better about dying - and to learn that
death is not an end, but a new beginning."