1. Out of Her
"I bent over
to pick up the plastic tubing. As I began
to straighten up, I accidentally bumped the
tubing on the edge of the tank. The water suddenly
squirted across my face - the pain was so sharp,
it felt as if a knife where slitting my cheek! I
screamed from the shock and pain, then felt
a moment of temporary relief as the water crossed
over my molars. My reprieve was short-lived,
however, as the electrified water rushed into
"As my body
bent over in shock, I had the most uncanny knowledge
that death was ahead of me. I began to
mourn the loss of everything I'd known: the
Earth, my home, my friends - all that I'd been
aware of, all that I loved. Everything I'd believed
to be true and lasting was slipping away from
me. I was face to face with death, face to face
with the unknown.
"My body was
thrown backwards and to one side by the current. My
body crashed to the floor, thrown with such
force that my head went right through the drywall,
about a foot above the floor. I never felt the
injuries, however, because I was no longer in
my body. I was actually watching my electrocution
"How could I
be out of my body and still be alive?"
I wondered, astonished.
was aware that I was inside a vast, seemingly
infinite blackness. I wasn't sure where this
blackness was in relationship to the Earth,
but for some reason I was unafraid. My
blackout period was brief, for I now found myself
back in my home, but in a new form. I was transparent,
yet I still looked like me.
I felt! Now, out of my body, I had no worries,
no cares. Never had I felt like this when
I was 'alive.' My entire spirit body was
transparent, and I was inside a glowing white
light that extended about three feet around
"At that moment,
an awareness overtook me - I am not my physical
body! This realization made me feel so
free, so wonderful! My spirit was glowing
with a white light that illuminated the entire
"Then, I was
up near the ceiling again. Everything still
looked the same - the furnishings, the walls
- but there was a new awareness about the dimension
to the scene - it had become transparent. I
could see everything more clearly than ever
before, and like a scientist, I found myself
looking at life through a microscope, discovering
minuscule particles of matter normally invisible.
"I was now aware
of the absence of physical sensations, yet I
was feeling a heightened sense of awareness
such as I'd never felt while alive. I knew I
was different from the 'Dianne' I had been,
but I also knew I was 'me.' It was similar
to looking at your reflection in a mirror; you
know you're not the reflection, but it does
appear to be you.
"Now, I saw
that everything was shrouded by a mist. Despite
a lack of gravity, I could easily control my
direction, and when I moved into the living
room, I noticed that I had just walked through
the glass coffee table. 'Wow! How
did I do that?' I marveled.
dog) suddenly entered the den and began nipping
at my face and pawing at my arm, trying to get
my body to wake up. I knew that his relentless
attempts to awaken my physical body wouldn't
work, yet I was proud of him for trying, and
even hoped his efforts might work. I wondered
where his chum, Penny, was, and suddenly I was
next to her in the backyard. I opened my mouth
to talk to her and felt my tongue moving, but
no sounds came out. I could distinctly hear
my voice, and then realized it was coming from
my mind. I tried several times to get Penny's
attention, yelling, 'Penny, can you see me?
Penny, can you hear me?' Apparently she didn't,
because there was no response.
"Next, I walked
around my backyard. As I looked through the
walls of my house toward the front sidewalk,
I noticed a man walking down the street. Eagerly,
I flew to him, right through the walls, and
tried to get his attention. Staring deeply
into his eyes, I said forcefully, 'Can you help
me? I need help.' Then I tried to shake
his shoulders, but he still didn't notice me.
Frustrated, I tried to touch his shoulder to
get him to look at me, and my hand went through
his upper right shoulder blade and out his back. This
"'What am I
to do?' I wondered, becoming upset when I realized
that the man could neither see nor hear me.
Instantly, I was back in my yard again, Penny
beside me. I noticed that whenever I felt
any apprehension, I was instantly moved to a
place of greater comfort.
"On the way
back to the den, I stopped right in the middle
of the wall between rooms. I sensed that
I was to look down at something fantastic, and
as I gazed downward, I saw a long silver cord
coming out of my spirit body, right through
the cheesecloth-like fabric I was wearing. The
cord extended down and out in front of me, and
as I turned around, I saw that the silver cord
draped around and behind me, like an umbilical
cord. I followed it through the two hallway
walls and into my den, where I saw it attached
to the back of the head of my physical body. The
cord was about an inch wide and sparkled like
Christmas tree tinsel!
"As soon as
I saw that the silver cord was attached to my
physical body, my spirit body was thrust into
a dark tunnel. I moved through it with great
speed, traveling faster than I could have imagined
possible. Although the tunnel was filled
with an all consuming darkness, I felt peaceful
2. Her Life Review
"When I came
to the end of the darkness, I stepped into a
new dimension. Here, I could sense the
presence of a loving spirit, sent - I knew -
by God to greet me. Then, I was back at
the site of my physical body. Back and
forth I traveled through the tunnel, several
times in succession, moving from the Other Side
to my electrocuted physical body and back again.
3. Her Higher Self
"Each time I
emerged from the tunnel, I was met by a radiant
angelic being who stood before me, smiling. The
being had no wings, and I sense it was female. She
was everything I'd ever dreamed an angel would
be. As she moved toward me, I walked to
meet her. Her love surrounded me, and my
spirit was filled with an almost unbearable
joy. The love this angelic being radiated
towards me made me feel that she cared more
about me than anyone else ever had or could. Her
love filled every particle of my being, every
thought, and every emotion within me. I felt
completely comforted and reassured.
by sending words directly into my mind. 'How
can I hear her thoughts before she utters them?'
I wondered. Yet, at the same time I was
hearing her questions, I was answering them! This
marvelous being seemed to know all my thoughts
instantly, just as I immediately knew hers. Although
I was standing directly before her, I could
see her from every angle: front, back, top,
bottom, and both sides - like a cubist painting
closer and stood with me; then, we were both
lifted about ten inches into the air, as if
we were on a platform moving upward. Extending
her arm before her, she indicated that I was
to look to my left. I did so, my heart and soul
completely open to her, for I knew God had sent
her to help me decide what I should do with
"As I turned
my eyes left, the entire scene changed into
a life review, a vivid, three-dimensional color
display of my entire life. Every detail
of every second, every feeling, every thought
while I had been alive on Earth was displayed
before me in perfect chronological order, from
my birth until my electrocution.
"At the same
time, to my amazement, I was re-living my entire
twenty-eight years simultaneously! The best
experiences brought me feelings of great joy,
as if God were talking to me through the angelic
being, sharing the highest moments of my life.
I felt as if every spirit in Heaven was watching
with me, applauding me and letting me know that
God approved of my caring, unselfish deeds. It
was then that I asked myself, 'Am I dead? Am
I really dead?'
"As the life
review continued, I was shown two very special
deeds I had performed. As these scenes
were displayed before me, every emotion I had
originally felt returned in full force. I
also felt as if God and the angelic being were
honoring me for having performed those deeds.
"I will never
forget the love that surrounded me at that moment,
or the joy that ran through me. Can you
imagine being hugged by God and your angel? It's
an experience that defies description!
"The first deed
I witnessed had occurred the day I stopped my
car to help push a woman's stalled station wagon
out of mainstream traffic and into a supermarket
driveway. The driver had been struggling to
push the car by herself, and I felt compelled
to give her a helping hand. After I had
helped push her vehicle to safety, I rushed
back to my car, afraid of getting a ticket for
being double-parked. In my haste, I hadn't given
her a chance to thank me. While reviewing this
scene, I was filled with indescribable feelings
of love, which seemed to be directed to me from
angelic beings high above me.
"Then, my angel
showed me a second vision, a scene I'd forgotten.
I now saw myself at seventeen, when I'd worked
at a convalescent hospital after school. I
had grown fond of a toothless old woman who
was no longer able to speak clearly, and who
never had visitors. She liked to suck on
graham crackers before going to bed, but no
one wanted to serve her because when she had
finished, she would drool as she kissed the
entire length of the arm of the person feeding
her. While others avoided her, I willingly
fed her the cookies she adored, seeing how happy
this made her.
"When that scene
was replayed for me, I felt as if every loving
spirit in God's kingdom was thanking me in unison.
I was amazed that such an act could have meant
so much to God - and to me. I felt humbled and
"A glow surrounded
the radiant being as she presented my life review,
continuing to communicate with me telepathically.
As I viewed the scenes of my life, it felt as
if I were absorbing many books all at once with
life review was finished, and I was whisked
away from the angelic being and returned to
the tunnel. This time, I seemed to be falling
through it, finally emerging in another room,
in another dimension. It was a world far more
beautiful than any I could ever have imagined,
a place of awesome serenity. The peace
and calm I felt surpassed any previous notions
I had had about Heaven, and I knew, in the deepest
part of my soul, that God was here."
"In this rapturous
place, I recognized that there were two aspects
of 'me.' My soul was my consciousness, everything
that had made me who I had been and what I had
become. My spirit, on the other hand, was
the part of me that was now transparent and
glowing, dressed in white.
4. One with the Light
"As I looked
around me, I initially found everything dimly
lit. Then, I clearly saw a canopy bed resting
in the center of an infinite vista stretched
out before me. The bed was actually glowing
within a Heavenly radiance which enveloped me
"To my astonishment,
I saw a duplicate of myself lying on the bed. 'How
can there be two of me? Or three of me?'
I wondered.' But I was instantly reassured by
the loving vibrations around me. The feeling
reminded me of being reassured by a dear, trusted
friend saying, 'Don't worry, all is well.'
two things I knew for certain: first, that I
was Dianne, and second, that my physical body
was dead. I also knew that the duplicate
of Dianne on the bed was another me, but I did
not know what she represented. Now, I was
beginning to feel as if I were in three places
"One part of
me was the transparent Dianne on the bed. The
second was my physical body in the den, the
body that no longer had life. The third
part of me was my spirit, now out of its body.
This part of me remained conscious and aware
of all my experiences, both here and back on
"I knew beyond
a doubt that I wanted to stay in this magnificent
place, where I felt so loved, so accepted. 'How
does one feel accepted by a place? Let
me put it this way: as I walked toward the bed,
I could actually 'feel' Heaven all around me. The
rapture and peace were beyond my wildest imaginings,
and I wanted to stay here forever and ever.
"Do you remember
how it felt, long ago, to be held and rocked
in your mother's loving arms? Take this to the
hundredth power and you're still light years
away from the feeling of total peace and comfort
that surrounded me. I felt the love of every
mother in the universe being poured inside me
for now and for all eternity.
bed before me was not my bed, the sheets looked
amazingly like my own. I could hardly believe
it when I realized that they were actually breathing,
filled with life! The canopy bed was also
alive, not made of the dense physical matter
as it would have been created from on Earth.
"As I walked
closer to the bed, it radiated such love to
me that I knew no earthly painter or craftsman
could have created it - not Leonardo da Vinci,
not Rembrandt, not Michelangelo, not Monet. This
bed had been made by God.
"Now, the Light
was welcoming me, inviting me to recline on
this Heavenly creation. The transparent 'me'
was gone, and as I lay down, I felt the lace
caressing me with rapture, peace, and love.
I was moved to tears of joy.
"At that moment,
I knew that nothing ever dies. Nothing
"I also knew
that I would never die. If I stayed in this
place, I knew I would be alive, but in a different
way than I had been before my electrocution.
I would still be Dianne, and I would still have
my memories, but I would also feel this unbelievable
love around me forever. How I longed to
"Then, I sense
that I must look to my right, through the lace. There,
I could see a pinpoint of Light coming from
the next room, the next dimension, the infinity
beyond. I knew I must see more clearly, so with
my right hand I lifted up the lace. I knew
I had no choice but to look."
of Light became a brilliant white beam a trillion
times brighter than the brightest sun imaginable,
and began to move toward me. At first,
it appeared to be bands of multifaceted light
being stretched and pulled together. I knew
this Light was the presence of God.
5. Her Guardian Angel
"I was awestruck,
overwhelmed by the Light, the love, the love
of God for me! I knew I could go into this Light,
which was part of a tremendous force. And,
although the Light was brighter than a thousand
suns, it didn't hurt my eyes.
"I was going
to have to choose between staying in the Light
and going back to Earth. Somehow, I knew
that if I went into the next room, into the
Light, I could never return to my body.
"I felt torn
between two desires: wanting to go into the
Light, and wanting to touch something tangible
and retain my connection with all that was physical. Both
desires grew stronger. The Light became
more intense, more radiant, more loving. As
I lifted the lace and extended my hand toward
the brilliance, wanting to touch the Light,
it rushed under the lace and touched the outstretched
middle finger of my right hand.
"As soon as
the Light touched me, I was transformed. The
Light and my spirit merged - I had entered the
Light of God, and all sense of my spirit body
was gone. My consciousness, fully alive, was
now totally connected to God.
Light, I knew that everyone and everything is
connected to it. God is in everyone, always
and forever. Within the Light was the cure for
all diseases; within the Light was all the knowledge
of every planet, every galaxy, every universe.
Indeed, the Light was Wisdom and Love beyond
"Being one with
the Light was like suddenly knowing every grain
of sand on every planet, in every galaxy, in
every universe, and at the same time knowing
why God had put each grain of sand in its particular
place. The Light held within it the knowledge
of every book in every language, from the beginning
of creation to the end of time. The Light
knew why every author had put every wood exactly
where it was. The Light conveyed the message
that each gain of sand, each plant, rock, animal,
and human being has a purpose and that nothing
ever dies because after death, there is a new
life on the Other Side.
and my spirit mingled for what felt like an
eternity, but eventually I began to sense with
great urgency that the time had come to choose
whether I would stay here or return to physical
life. How could I decide?"
spirit body was back in the tunnel. Again,
when I emerged from the tunnel, the angelic
being was waiting for me. Now, I noticed
that her hair was brown and turned under just
above her heavenly shoulders. Each of her
features was now more clearly visible as I paid
closer attention to them. Breathing did
not seem necessary for her or for me, yet we
were both full of life. She looked at me
and asked telepathically, 'What do you want,
6. Dianne's Return
"I said, 'I
want to go into the Light, and I want to touch
"She asked me
thousands of questions all at the same time,
and I responded to them, communicating directly
from my mind to hers.
voice asked, 'Have you ever felt this much love?' "I
answered, 'No.' 'Have you ever felt this much
joy?' 'No.' 'Have you ever felt this much peace?'
'No.' 'Have you ever felt this much rapture?'
'No.' 'Have you ever experienced this much bliss?'
'No.' 'Have you ever felt this much kindness?'
questions, one within the other, one on top
of another, all of the questions at once, yet
"I wanted desperately
to go into the Light again. Then, the radiant
being asked, 'Are you sure, Dianne?'
I replied. "Of course I was sure!"
"I was suddenly
thrust forward through the tunnel, and when
I looked down, I was aghast to see my physical
body below me. It looked dead and lifeless,
but this time I was disinterested whether I
saved it or not.
to me was the Light. I wanted the Light. I was
again thrust forward through the tunnel. The
angelic being was still there, waiting for me
to truly decide about my life, waiting for me
to decide about my death, waiting for me to
decide about my future.
"This time she
was even more radiant, more loving. I had never
imagined feeling such bliss, and I felt boundless
love for her. She asked, 'Have you ever been
in a world without pain?'
'Have you ever been in a world without war?'
"Have you ever
been in a world without anger, without rage,
without grief, without sadness, without envy,
without poverty, without jealousy, without worry,
of questions, all at the same time. I answered
them all the same way - emphatically, 'No.'
'I knew that no other place in the universe
could feel as good, as loving, as peaceful as
this Heavenly place.
"For some reason,
however, the angelic being sent me into the
tunnel again, back and forth through many tunnels.
I wondered why. I still wanted to 'touch,' but
I wanted the Light - both desires tugging at
"I finally found
myself back in my house, once again looking
down at my physical body. This time, I
realized that my physical body had the potential
to live again. I had begun to care less and
less whether I returned to my physical body,
but at this moment, looking down at my body,
my attitude underwent a change. I thought, 'How
sad; she has done so very little.' I realized
'Dianne' hadn't touched as many people as she
could have while alive. And I realized
how life could be enriched by touching others
lives more deeply and meaningfully.
as Dianne, I had always known that my life was
full of certain pleasures: a beautiful home,
a good job, a nice car, warm friends, a wonderful
family, a beloved best friend, and a musical
career I loved. 'But none of these matter
any more,' I thought, reversing myself again.
Only the Light mattered. Only God mattered.
"To my surprise,
I began to feel a persistent pulling sensation
from about four inches above my navel. I tried
to resist it, for I sensed a new process was
beginning, one that might take me from this
place, from God. I didn't want to leave behind
such feelings of elation. Yes, I wanted
to touch things, but I wanted the Light even
was rushing through the tunnel again. When
I emerged, I was up near the ceiling in the
den, looking down at my physical body below
me. Then, without warning, I was thrust
swiftly back into my body, entering through
the back of my neck, with my spirit legs and
arms together, like a diver doing a jackknife.
"As I re-entered
my body, I knew that the God within me could
never die, and I knew that I could never die. For
a moment, I actually saw myself half in and
half out of my body. Then, with a jolt,
I landed fully back in my body.
"Oh, my God,"
I thought, "How could I have chosen to
come back? I want to be in the Light again."
Tears ran down my cheeks and I wept, desolate
about the choice that had been made. 'Had
it really been my choice?' I couldn't believe
that I had decided to come back.
"I now believe
that one reason I was sent back was to help
people feel better about dying - and to learn
that death is not an end, but a new beginning."