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1. About Jan Price
Jan Price (died 2011) and her husband John were the founders of the Quartus Foundation, a research and communications organization whose mission is to probe the mysteries of ageless wisdom and integrating their truths with metaphysical spirituality. The foundation is currently headquartered in Boerne, Texas near San Antonio. Ms. Price was a regular columnist in the magazine Whole Health and has written numerous articles for the Quartus Report and other magazines. She was also a speaker and has produced several meditation audiocassettes. Jan Price was an internationally known teacher-lecturer, and author of The Other Side of Death, a widely acclaimed book about her near-death experience in 1993 and her remarkable journey beyond the veil which included a reunion with her deceased pet dog.
2. Introduction to Jan Price’s Near-Death Experience
On December 30, 1993, at 1:35 pm, Jan Price had a nearly fatal heart attack in which she experienced a wonderful NDE. At 1:39 pm she returned to life. Jan was destined not to linger in paradise but to return to the physical world and to the body she had left behind. Her NDE testimony, and the many precious lessons it taught her, reveals what is most important: that death need never be feared by anyone. Jan also reflects on why NDEs happen and why they’re becoming so common. Her remarkable testimony teaches us about guilt and punishment, forgiveness and transformation, life and love, Earth and eternity – all of them, joyfully and unforgettably. Jan’s husband, bestselling author John Randolph Price, also contributes to her testimony, sharing his feelings and experiences during this tremendous crisis.
While many people are greeted by a “Being of Light” during their near-death experience, Jan was greeted by her beloved deceased dog named Maggi. Their new relationship while she was in heaven will astonish you as you learn all about “dog heaven”. Her experience will show you what happens to your beloved pet when they cross over to the Other Side.
The following are excerpts from her book, The Other Side of Death, which describes her NDE and her adventures with her pet.
3. Her Out-of-Body and Angelic Experience
I had absolutely no fear – not during the heart attack, nor during the death experience, nor afterward. The heart attack was simply increasing discomfort – not frightening, just a growing realization that something was wrong with my body. And though the pain and pressure intensified, I still didn’t become apprehensive; I just kept thinking how inconvenient this was. Even when we called EMS, I don’t think I really understood the seriousness of my situation.
I remember being surprised as I observed the full heart arrest taking place. I suppose we never really think of ourselves as dying, but obviously I had died because I wasn’t in my body anymore.
Then suddenly I felt something on both sides of me, not as we might describe a physical touch, but more as a feeling, a sensation of a presence – of entities, more than one. I could see their light as forms of energy, and I realized that they were angelic beings – loving, pure, holy and helpful. They were assisting me, and I felt an upward movement. Then everything was blue.
I saw and felt the most beautiful blue – neither light nor dark blue, but luminous blue. Floating in this ocean of light-filled blue, I was serene, tranquil, free, and could have happily stayed there forever.
I know that I have never felt such peace – a peace beyond calm, beyond words. It is indescribable ecstasy, quiet joy, liquid love; a feeling of incredible ease, the pure pleasure of being with no concern for doing – being one with all that is, suspended and supported in a sea of love. Merging with the energy of all that is came the feeling of completeness – and an utter contentment in being complete – a moving into myself and knowing the fullness of me. Then came the golden light – gold, the color of our individual spiritual nature.
Suspended in the ocean of blue, golden streams of light – like stardust – began to pour through me. The light felt so good. If I harbored any lingering heaviness from my life on Earth, I knew it was being taken away. And as the radiation continued, I realized there was no longer any sense of gravity, no pulls from the past, only a Wing of being ethereal, gossamer in lightness. Then, like a sweet elixir, the shining rays infusing me washed to the surface a lifetime of memories, beginning with my birth.
[Jan experienced her life review at this point in her testimony.]
As the golden light continued to flow, I knew that there was a purpose in the radiation. Old error patterns based mostly on guilt were being dissolved. I was going back into the body without them, for it wasn’t time for me to leave permanently. That was one of the good things about dying. The emotional system was cleaned, and all the false guilt was washed away. The little girl could come out of the closet. She had never done anything wrong.
The last thing I had written in my journal before the hear attack flashed into my mind. One word, “Transformation”. Then the journey, into the Beyond continued.
4. Her Love Connection with Her Dog Maggi
As the density changed, becoming lighter and finer, I felt that I was being lifted to another level of awareness – and then I found myself in surroundings that appeared to be more substantial – Maggi was there. My beautiful dog, my beloved springer, came to me. She had died less than a month before, and John and I still ached from her absence.
I felt her presence, her love, and she appeared to me as she had when she was in physical form – only younger, more vital. She said: “You know that Daddy can’t handle both of us being gone right now.”
“Yes, I’m going back,” I replied. “Will you come soon?”
“When it is time, we will know. Now I will show you wondrous things. Let’s explore together.”
If you are having difficulty accepting the idea that my first encounter on the other side was with a dog, you aren’t the only one. While John thought it perfectly natural, one of our daughters became a little, upset when I told her about it. I think she would have preferred that her mother be greeted by Jesus, an angel, or at least by a family member. I did meet a Master Teacher – I’ll get to that later – but Maggi came first. After all, she had been close “family” for many years, and whoever is responsible for setting up the Welcome Wagon over there certainly knew what a delightful experience it would be for me to be greeted by her.
But I did understand our daughter’s reaction. If Mother was going to have the opportunity of visiting beyond the veil, the least she could do was make it awe-inspiring with some dramatic religious overtones. Fact of the matter is there is nothing particularly “religious” about the other side. Spiritual, yes, but nothing “characterized by adherence to religion or a religion” – to use Webster’s definition of the term. As Harold Richter Stark, M.D., said after his near-death experience and tour of the other side: “One does not go around in an ecstasy of religious fervor, but it is a place of ordered activity.” [1]
What I came to realize is that there is a love connection between the two worlds — a stream of energy that forms a heart bond between two souls that is the strongest at the time of transition. Love comes out to greet you, wearing the form that will be most meaningful to you at the time. In my case it was our precious dog, and yes, dogs have souls – Plato knew it and so did Saint Augustine, along with most other true saints and sages.
And yes, they can communicate audibly in our language in that other world. They have done so in the physical realm, too, as evidenced in certain passages of the Bible [2] [3].
Later at home after my recovery, I discovered in Joseph Campbell’s writings that: “Animals are our equals at least, and sometimes our superiors. The animal has powers that the human doesn’t have. The shaman, for instance, will often have an animal familiar, that is to say, the spirit of some animal species that will be his support and his teacher.” [4]
I also found that animals were held in veneration by all races of antiquity, and ancient wisdom texts tell us that “The dog, because of its faithfulness, denotes the relationship which should exist between disciple and master or between the initiate and his God. The dog’s ability to sense and follow unseen persons for miles symbolizes the transcendental power by which the philosopher follows the thread of truth through the labyrinth of earthly error. The dog is also the symbol of Mercury.[5] (Mercury was the messenger of the gods in Roman mythology.)
Valerie Moolman, author of “The Meaning of Your Dreams,” has written that: “People who are particularly fond of dogs tend to regard them, unconsciously, as human beings, and to identify very closely with them.” [6]
This is especially true in what we call the nonphysical world, where all relationships are on a higher frequency. Even though we take our consciousness with us (we don’t instantly become totally enlightened), we find that our thoughts and feelings are more in tune with the spiritual reality of all that is. And what is “spiritual”? To me it is the true inner essence of everything – the rock, the tree, the animal, the person. It is the spirit, the unique field of energy within each mineral, plant, animal, and human.
5. Having Fun with Her Dog in the Higher Realm of Color
So Maggi and I were interacting on a finer wavelength, and although we had dropped our physical vehicles, our bodies were made visible to the senses through an image in the mind projected as form – and she was as real to see and touch as she was when I’d held her in my arms in the physical world.
My friend Maggi and I walked side by side as we had so many times in that other place of being. Without any effort we moved through a realm of ecstatic color. The pulsating, indescribable colors were fluid – energy waiting to be formed. Maggi showed me how to shape forms out of energy by pressing with my mind. If you want the form to hold, you press firmly. This is a highly mental plane, and form is created with no bodily effort. An image of that which you wish to create is held in mind, and through intense focus is brought into expression. You can lock it in, or release it.
This was so new to me then, but later I found that it was pretty much old hat to near-death experiencers. As Michael Talbot describes it in his book, “The Holographic Universe“: “When the mind is in the ‘higher’ frequencies of the near-death dimension, it continues to do what it does best, translate those frequencies into a world of appearances.” [7]
I’ll talk more about this later.
Talbot also discusses the work of the Swedish mystic Emanuel Swedenborg (1688-1772), who was a “skilled out-of-body visitor to the land of the dead.” He says that Swedenborg: “… believed that, despite its ghostlike and ephemeral qualities, heaven is actually a more fundamental level of reality than our own physical world … that the afterlife realm and physical reality are different in degree but not in kind, and that the material world is just a frozen version of the thought-built reality of heaven.” [8]
I didn’t experience “heaven” as ghostlike, but I do agree that the physical and nonphysical worlds have a distinct similarity, with the latter actually feeling more real. At least I felt a higher level of reality about myself while on that beautiful plane.
Regarding the colors, the wisdom teachings of the Tibetan master Djwal Khul tell us that: “Colors as manifested on the physical plane show as their crudest and harshest … as the finer matter of the other planes is contacted, the beauty, the softness and the exquisite quality of the different hues, grow … the beauty transcends all conception.” [9]
Maggi and I played in the color field, stepping into various hues and feeling their particular vibration. The matchless quality of the colors fascinated me because I hadn’t seen anything like them before, and cannot to this day find words to describe the beauty of the shades and hues. It’s been said that: “In addition to the colors of the spectrum there are a vast number of vibratory color waves, some too low and others too high to be registered by the human optical apparatus.” [10]
While I didn’t have a mirror on the other side, I recognized that I had a body and I experienced that I was looking through my eyes to see it, but what I was really observing through was my mind. Thus without the physical “optical apparatus,” my awareness was expanded well beyond the seven fundamental color tones.
6. Listening the Music of the Spheres
Each wave of color seemed to have a frequency of its own, giving off a particular sound that I interpreted as a beautiful chord of music – and dancing from color to color was like playing some cosmic musical instrument in the heavenly symphony. It was fun, and Maggi seemed to enjoy it too. We’ve heard the expression “music of the spheres.” I wasn’t sure what that meant until my visit to the other side. There I heard the music divine, sometimes sounding like chants of angels, playing in the background. Later, when I told John about it, he remembered that the phrase was attributed to Pythagoras, who was born in 600 B.C. and considered the world’s “first philosopher.” He found the following reference in a book in our library:
“The Pythagoreans believed that everything which existed had a voice and that all creatures were eternally singing the praise of the Creator. Man fails to hear these divine melodies because his soul is enmeshed in the illusion of material existence. When he liberates himself from the bondage of the lower world with its sense limitations, the music of the spheres will again be audible as it was in the Golden Age. Harmony recognizes harmony, and when the human soul regains its true estate it will not only hear the celestial choir but also join with it in an everlasting anthem of praise to that Eternal Good controlling the infinite number of parts and conditions of Being. [11]
Moving on, we entered a lovely green meadow filled with flowers. Here we were walking with more of a sense of the movement of our bodies. This place reminded me of a vision I had experienced several years ago in which I picked a flower and held it in my hand, but it was also exactly where it was before. Wondering what would happen here, I reached for a blossom, and as I took it in my hand, another one appeared in its place. How wonderful! The beauty can’t be marred. Nothing is lost. There is ever more of the substance that stands behind each expression, just waiting to flow into its perfect pattern of being.
7. Visiting Her Dog Maggi’s Heaven
Maggi wanted to show me where she lived, which she said was patterned by much of what she remembered of the homes where she had lived with us. She had held the images in her mind, pressed, and created a place of residence. As she spoke of her home, we arrived there, which didn’t seem strange at all at the time. Later I realized that it was a rather bizarre experience – not only the instantaneous “being there” in the space of a thought but also the idea that our dog actually had a beautiful home on the other side. Again John later helped me to understand this when he said that Emanuel Swedenborg, a frequent visitor to the heavenly realm, wrote that animals do indeed have abodes in the spiritual world, pointing out that they: “…have such knowledge, for it is implanted in them to know of themselves their homes and dwelling places, as is evident from abundant observation.” [12]
As I stood in Maggi’s dwelling place, I felt great joy. There was a fire in the fireplace, giving the room a warm, friendly glow. A wall of books – of course! Beautiful paintings and oriental rugs. One whole side of the room was glass and you could look out on a vista of rolling hills, bubbling streams, and many trees.
We sat comfortably on one of the soft, velvety love seats, content just to be together. I stroked her beautiful head and she laid her paws across my legs. To touch again was so precious, for there was so much love between us. Without spoken words we shared memories and deep feelings. Much communication over here was silent, although sound was sometimes used simply because it was so pleasant. My heart overflowed with gratitude for the opportunity to have this reunion — and see my loved one so joyously, vibrantly alive in what can truly be called paradise. Reluctantly we left Mag’s lovely home, for I felt an inner prodding to move on.
Next we went to a place she called the lookout. It appeared to be only an overhang on a high cliff, but the view was intensely magnified. I could look into the world I had left behind as though peering into a monitor, if I chose to do so. No one spent a lot of time here, Maggi said, but some occasionally stopped by to check on what was going on in the earthly realm. I decided not to; I wanted to keep moving on in this world of exquisite bliss.
8. Perceiving the Reality of Time on the Other Side
Ralph Waldo Emerson said that we are what we think about all day long. What this means is that our thoughts and feelings set up a vibration in the energy field around us. As the particular trend of thought continues, it impresses the energy and forms a pattern, which begins to externalize itself as conditions, situations, and experiences in our lives. We literally create our personal worlds through our belief system, and that’s why consciousness is said to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. We always become what we think about.
That is particularly true in the higher realms. Structure and environment continue to be brought into expression as a reflection of consciousness — as mind energy coming into form and experience — but the manifestation is so much faster. Time is different — not limiting — because we are not conscious of it. Therefore a person’s belief system begins immediately to create a complementary world and will continue to “outpicture” such a world until consciousness changes and reality is revealed.
Time’s measurement on the physical plane is based on the vibration rate of cesium atoms, which was approved by international agreement in 1964.
On the other side, time is simply the sequence of activity recorded in consciousness. And since our awareness is on a higher frequency in that world, progression (what we see happening) is greatly accelerated. In some situations it would seem to be at the speed of light.
In “Return from Tomorrow,” George G. Ritchie, M.D., writes about his life review during a near-death experience: “There were other scenes, hundreds, thousands, all illuminated by that searing Light, in an existence where time seemed to have ceased. It would have taken weeks of ordinary time even to glance at so many events, and yet I had no sense of minutes passing.” [13]
The specified lengths of time that we on Earth call seconds, minutes, hours, days, and so forth do not apply over there. The Bible’s definition of God’s time (the plane of heaven) is that one thousand years equals one day — a remarkable extension of third-dimensional time. I was out of my body for close to four minutes. If we agree with the Bible equation, that would be about three years on the higher plane. That seems like an awfully long time for my particular experience; maybe I just didn’t adjust to “heavenly time” the way others have. For example, in the book Intra Muros by NDE experiencer Rebecca Ruter Springer says: “Days lengthened into weeks, and weeks into months, and these in turn crept into years, and the duties and joys of heaven grew clearer and dearer with each passing hour.” [14]
9. Understanding Consciousness on the Other Side
It could be that the duration of my visit didn’t register in consciousness because it was already determined that I would remain on the other side only until the high-energy cleansing process was completed. This would mean that on some level of consciousness I still had a strong attachment to my physical body, which would throw my cosmic clock out of kilter.
I also want to add something more about “outpicturing” – the idea that everything is a reflection of consciousness. In John’s book, “The Planetary Commission” he says that: “What we see in our world are ideas in consciousness expressed on the third-dimensional plane. They are your images, and each image is nothing more nor less than your beliefs projected into materiality.
“Everything comes to you or is repelled from you based on the vibration of your energy field, and the vibration is established by your beliefs and convictions. Accordingly, you can see that nothing is out of place or out of order in your life. Everything is perfect based on your consciousness and the outworking of the law. Your world is a mirror of your thoughts, feelings, concepts – all pressed out in material form and experience.
“You simply cannot run away from your world because you can’t run away from yourself. You can’t even escape by destroying your body, because you take your consciousness with you.” [15]
Dr. George Ritchie, quoted earlier, also writes about the immediate “outpicturing” of consciousness beyond the veil. He says: “Whatever anyone thought, however fleetingly or unwillingly, was instantly apparent to all around him, more completely than words could have expressed it, faster than sound waves could have carried it.” [16]
Yes, we do take our consciousness with us when we die, and until it changes, we will continue to see a mirror of what we believe. Perhaps this is where the concept of heaven and hell originally began, because on the other side of death, our mind-sets are revealed to us in no uncertain terms. A higher, finer consciousness sees the good, while those mired in their lower nature will temporarily project a rather coarse type of existence. The average human being may experience a little of both until consciousness stabilizes in the clear light.
Since my visit I am more convinced than ever before that our time on earth must be devoted to attaining a higher consciousness — a deeper spiritual awareness. And not just to have healthier bodies and more material possessions. Those are the added things that come into our lives when we seek an understanding of the Reality of our Being – the Spirit of God within. And when we realize that Presence, and understand that It is who and what we are, then our lives become an adventure in love, joy, and peace, and the adventure continues when we cross over, in even fuller measure.
Let’s move on now to my next adventure in the nonphysical world.
10. Visiting the Temple of Knowledge
Sensing the questions forming in my mind, Maggi informed me that we would go where all the answers are. Quickly (as I’d discovered is the way on this plane of existence) we approached a structure of supernal beauty. It was vast, of the purest white, and somewhat Grecian in architecture. Paths led into the structure from all directions, and I observed many people coming and going.
Both men and women wore soft, loose, mostly white flowing clothing, and I noticed that no one was really young or old — sort of a “middle” age. I figured that they looked exactly as they should for their optimal expression. Though we passed some of these people on our way, I really didn’t want to stop and talk; and because I was so intent on where we were going – to where “the answers are” — no one intruded. It was as though they sensed that I was not yet ready for conversation.
Over the archway through which we entered the structure, I saw the words TEMPLE OF KNOWLEDGE and felt a gentle power drawing me into itself. There were pillars of varying heights, becoming higher and higher toward the center. Aware of the light and openness, I noticed there was no roof on the building. The outer perimeter reminded me of a veranda, and I saw small groups of people engaged in discussion.
I passed one lively group, and when I overheard the conversation, I realized it was a gathering of writers sharing ideas. I wasn’t surprised that I was drawn to this particular group, as it reminded me of the many exhilarating discussions that John and I have had over the years. I heard one woman say, “This is what I’ve been working on” — and with great animation she described her current writing project. Others in the group seemed to catch her excitement, and each, in his or her turn, began to offer ideas on how to enhance the subject.
Listening closely, I learned that the information shared in these groups was somehow “broadcast” into the denser plane of Earth as seed ideas to be picked up by interested parties. This explained why writers in different parts of the world sometimes get the same idea for a book. This principle would also apply to the creation of inventions, scientific discoveries, new understanding of the great philosophies, and other advances. Those who have a strong interest in any particular discipline continue to expand their comprehension of the subject, though out of the physical body, thus doing a service for those incarnate.
From here I looked out upon the beautiful gardens – flowers, fruits, and plants of many varieties arranged in exquisite patterns. Here and there someone was tending them, and I felt a surge of happiness for the many I know — such as John’s mother and her husband — who find such pleasure in growing things. It seems that nothing that brings real satisfaction is left behind.
Turning back to the interior of the temple, I saw that creative activities were taking place in different areas. There were a number of individuals sitting at easels painting, and I saw one man playing a flute-like instrument that emitted the sweetest of sounds. Farther on, dancers moved with ethereal grace, performing with a lightness impossible to the physical human form. As I watched in utter delight, I became aware that the musical background for this visual feast came from what I would call a celestial choir – an orchestra of voices creating “heavenly” music for the dance. This “music of the spheres” was indeed singing the praises of the Creator.
What I was seeing certainly indicated that creative expression was given high priority here. In another area both groups and individuals were engaged in various art forms, some that we would call sports. There was no competition, simply joyful participation in activities that brought fulfillment.
The sound of laughter drew my attention back to the outside. Children were playing on a grassy expanse leading to a small pond. Ducks were swimming in the water. Some sort of a game was being played. The children seemed to be bouncing, as if they were balls, with each rebound higher than the one before. Some were doing flips and other acrobatic feats while in the air. The game appeared to be a follow-the-leader type of thing, and even the smaller ones were proficient in the gymnastics.
11. Learning from a Wise One of the Illuminati
A little tug from Maggi reminded me that there was more here in the temple to investigate. Moving in toward the center, it was quieter, and the gentle power that I had felt earlier was stronger. Here were individuals, wise ones, it seems, stationed at intervals and waiting to assist those who chose to approach them. I intuited that I should do so, and was strongly drawn to the one on my right. Masculine in appearance with a flowing beard and penetrating, knowing eyes, he was dressed in a robe of white. There was a band of gold encircling him – not in the form of what we might think of as an aura but more like a shiny ribbon of golden light. He gestured that I should sit before him, and I immediately heard his words in my mind. No verbalization was necessary.
“There is much you wish to know, and you shall. All information is available to you. We will assist and instruct, and then you may move to the center and receive it yourself. I already know your questions. Be assured that all will be answered. As you adjust and understand how to work with mind on this level, you will automatically know what is needed as the desire arises.
“You have wondered why you did not enter through the tunnel you have heard so much about. It is true that many experience their first awareness of this reality in that way, but when you separated from the body, you were immediately aware of the Light. You have been here before for brief periods and knew the way, so it was not necessary to travel through that corridor of mind known as the tunnel.
“The children you just saw are in your thoughts. Surely you must have known that some would be here. They do not stay in that mode very long, for it is not the natural way of expression. When they come in, however, their mind-set is that they are a child of a certain age, and that is how they appear. We nurture and grow them gently into acceptance of adulthood. Then they are able to take full advantage of the wonderful opportunities for expansion on this level.
“Since your arrival here, you have been escorted through several different planes; there are many more, and nothing is restricted. Each person is free to experience fully, and the only governor is the state of the conscious mind. Deeply held beliefs are what come into visible expression here, just as they do on the dimension from which you have just come. Not everyone will have the same experience, for truly we create our own. However, subtle energies gently press on closed, restrictive minds, and like the rosebud’s petals, they slowly open and expand and are soon willing to accept greater understanding. Then they are ready to move from their limited concept of life to the eternal adventure, for there is ever more to know, to do, to be.
“Know this: No one is lost or left behind. Each individual unit of consciousness is of equal importance and can never cease to exist. Whatever has been played out in the world of dense matter forms the initial mold for life here, but no one is locked into that mold, and each can progress to higher and higher levels of being.
“Be still and let me show you. There are cities out there as on the dense physical. Different levels of consciousness inhabit them. Observe. There are levels you would not feel comfortable on, but those who go there feel right at home.”
12. Seeing a “Great City” of Three Dimensions
Taking form before my eyes was the skyline of a great city. I could see three different dimensions of it simultaneously. The first had a dinginess pervading the atmosphere. There was a gloominess, and everything was gray, even the inhabitants, though I sensed that somewhere beneath the discoloration pulsed life and beauty. It brought to mind the lowest levels of existence in the world from which I’d come. Evil walked the squalid streets with malevolent bearing. No one here was up to, or expected, any good.
The second dimension was of the same panorama, but brighter and more colorful, and had a familiarity. Hope lived amid despair. There were neighborhoods with neat houses holding reasonably contented folk; shabby rows of dwellings housed those more discontented. Expansive lawns separated palatial homes from those of less grandeur. Within each sector was happiness and horror, love and hate, joy and sorrow — the dualities of life on a less than harmonious plane. It was a life accepted by many in the land I’d left behind as the only way life could be. Some knew better, more than just a few, and the hope that lived amid despair would at some time blossom into a better way of life.
Last in the trinity was a city of light, like unto John’s holy city in the Book of Revelation. I saw the same skyline as before, but this time it was pure gold – with colors like precious gems, transparent glass, crystal clear. All who walked through the city brought glory and honor into it. Harmony and order prevailed, and the residents lived joyfully, creating that which brought forth beauty and fulfillment — a place of perfect peace, the peace that passeth understanding.
The slices of life I was seeing existed on both sides of the veil, I realized, and as I watched, the populations were shifting. A subtle but certain movement from the densest to the brightest was occurring. As misconceptions were altered on one level, a change took place on the next. Whether in physical form or on the other side of death, a change in perception benefited all. Truly our deeply held beliefs not only affect our own life experience but that of others. We are intricately connected to all that exists throughout eternity.
13. Understanding Life from God’s Perspective
The Wise One continued speaking: “Throughout the vast unlimitedness of All That Is, the creative energy — that which is called the Spirit of God — is expressing itself as you, me, and everything else. Wherever we are, the God-source is, and we are always somewhere.”
“Sometimes I am in places where God doesn’t seem to be, as in the middle of a heart attack,” I responded. “Surely God is not there.”
“Yes. Wherever we are, the Source, God, is. A heart attack isn’t bad. It is just an experience accepted on a certain level of being. We are so unlimited that we can limit, restrict, contract. Such power is awesome, for it is our very nature to create. We are constantly expressing in some way. Those who have chosen to move into the adventure of the dense matter we call physical must learn how fully to enjoy it. Physical is not lesser than other realms, just different. It is a special form of expression that has unique pleasures when we understand how to do it rightly. We should not be so eager to get out. Physical is not unspiritual. All is God. With understanding of omnipresence we will stop creating hurtful experiences, for fear will no longer exist. There is nothing wrong, nothing bad, there is just creation.”
“Earlier I was shown how guilt eventually closed down my heart,” I responded.
“Guilt is an offspring of fear and is most insidious. That tricky fellow works just below the surface of consciousness, feeding the fear that you have erred and usurping the power to express yourself freely lest you do something wrong and get into trouble. On the physical plane this is played out by the arteries becoming clogged; in your case a clot formed that closed off the flow of the life-force. On every level expression is restricted. See how it works. You are wondering what will happen when you go back in your body. The subconscious patterns were melted away by the Light, which will help in the healing of the physical. You can, in time, with right action, clear the pathways.
“Now go into the innermost part of the temple. You will find it easy there to open your mind and listen. Much knowledge will be received, but you will not be consciously aware of all of it at the moment. It will be assimilated and brought into remembrance bit by bit after you return to the body. More understanding is needed there, and you will have the opportunity to share. Beloved old friends will continue to work with you, as we have in the past.”
I remembered the blessed time spent with teachers from another realm – Illuminati – during my meditations on the physical plane. I had somehow tapped into their energies, and their wise instruction helped me move to a higher level of awareness and understanding. They called themselves the “beloved old friends.”
“Yes, I am one of them,” he said. “This is why you were drawn to me. Remember what we have taught you and stay open to receive. Now go, for soon you must return. Our love is ever with you.”
14. Basking in the Celestial Silence
I felt the warm radiance of that love as I stepped into the inner recesses of the temple – a beautiful arena of light. There was a soft glow of rosy gold, and it felt like a gentle massage, soothing and relaxing. Effortlessly, with no sense of hurry, I glided through varying shades of gold until the light was crystal-clear. Here, I was beyond thoughts; there was no analyzing – just an experience of being in the splendor.
I sat, quietly at ease, and had the sensation that tiny fingertips were caressing my crown. I felt my mind open like the petals of a flower. Then softly and tenderly came the knowingness, the connection with all that is. In moments of meditation I have touched this level before, but never with such completeness, clarity, intensity. Here, in this celestial silence, all was perfectly clear, understood. Here was fulfillment. All knowledge was mine, and I could draw it into conscious awareness as needed. On all levels we can tap into Universal Mind, but it’s easier here because of the more subtle energies.
A sweetness, an essence so pure, filled me, was me. This is what God is, all is, I am. With purity of heart I saw God and knew there is nothing else. I felt myself merging with, and ascending into, that crystalline brilliance. I touched true Joy, and I was lifted into the fullness of Being — the Essence of Life. In this glory I was free, and I beheld the Love that knows no conditions — the self-givingness of the Lifeforce we call God, ever nurturing and sustaining itself. All outlines disappeared, and there was no separation. Maintaining individual awareness, I was one with the Whole.
15. Remembering the Oneness and Love of God
A remembrance comes – something I had written years ago about the experience of Oneness. Have I been here before? Of course! Otherwise how could I have described the unity of all that is in such detail? This is what I wrote five years before my heart attack?
In the center of the universe I stand encircled by Divine Being. In this I live and move and have my being. I am in this world, and of it. The world of natural order, ease, and joy. Eternal goodness flowing, doing, being all. There is only joy; waves of love support, sustain. I am in God, not outside.
I am in Love, consciously at peace with all there is. In God I love and move and have my being. In Love I live and move and have my being. In peace I live and move and have my being. There is nothing else. There is no outer. All is in the circle of God, Love, God Love. GOD LOVE.
The kingdom of God is within me. Yes. But more important, I am in the Kingdom of God. The Spirit of God is within me, but more important, I am in the Spirit of God. The Love of God is within me, but more important, I am in the Love of God. All there is is God. I can be nowhere else. I cannot be separate from God. There is nowhere else. There is no place else. There is no else. There only IS.
GODLOVE. It fills and sustains me. It is me. It is all, for it is all. I am that I am. No inner. No outer. Just IS. I am aware of all that is. I am all that is. In tune with the mighty flow of continuous expression, eternal being. Awake I am to the wonder of existence in this all-encompassing energy of ecstatic light, expansive love, eternal creation; ever-expanding, learning more of my omnipresent self.
I fly as the sparrow. I swim the clear waters encased in silvery fins. I am the mother and the newborn child, the father proud of his offspring. I experience the spectrum of love – loving, loved. I am filled with life, for I am that life. I run. I rest. I sleep and dream. I rise and see myself, the sun, rise also. The moonlight and the meadow, I am those; shining beams of moon lighting the night sky, gentle grasses moving in the breeze, the hoot of the owl in the tree nearby.
I am the cloud, the rock, the tree, the million grains of sand circling the deep blue sea. I express myself in many ways, as starry nights and sunny days. Through galaxies my spirit soars intent on being more and more.
There is no end to what I am. For I am God and God is me and there is nothing else to be.
I now understood more fully why we don’t feel our Oneness with God moment to moment, constantly, while on the earth plane. We feel separated because of our physical bodies; we think we ARE the body and are therefore physical, yet we know that God is Spirit. Thus the sense of separation.
In both worlds there is nothing but energy, invisible and visible; we are spiritual beings wherever we may be. We are energy and God is energy, and energy cannot be broken up or separated. Born of God, we are spirit, and cannot be anything else. All is mind – one mind. We are that mind asleep – yet awakening, and God is that mind eternally aware.
Life beyond the veil is simply the continuity of life from one realm to another — death being only an entrance into fuller life, as a Wise One has said.
16. Encountering Her Higher Self and Past Lives
Now, before me, shimmering, iridescent light began to take a particular shape. A woman of breathtaking beauty appeared as I watched in awe, and even after the full materialization from pure light to visible, substantial form was complete, nothing was static. I continued to see a “quivering” of her structure, as though looking at a fluid, rippled reflection in a pond. Her movements were of pure grace as she positioned herself directly in front of me. Her hair was dark, her face pale, yet with color.
“Look into my eyes,” she said with a gentle but commanding smile.
As I did, I felt myself being absorbed. I was no longer just the entity I knew of as me, but more, so much more. The eyes I stared into were mine, the eyes of my soul.
In deep humility I accepted that which I was shown. “Oh my, I am all of that – so beautiful, glorious, wise, loving, kind, powerful. I didn’t know. I had no idea.”
As though looking into a kaleidoscope, I saw myriad lifetimes and experiences. Oh, the wonder of me. This powerful creative energy could take on any form it chose, and right now it was expressing as a woman called Jan, so of course I would perceive it as feminine.
Words from beyond my own thought processes began to pour into my mind.
“You have been only casually thankful for your gift of life. Be thankful each day for this great gift. Most people go through life never really appreciating it. The purpose of life is joy, and with spiritual understanding the physical senses are enhanced. Savor fully the loveliness of each experience. Self-awareness is the prayer of the heart, and to pray without ceasing is to play. Play with the joyful abandon of the child, absorbed in the delight of each moment. Let go of obligation and duty, and live for the pure joy of being.
“Teach liberation. Fun and laughter are contagious, exposing all in their radius to the prosperous condition of happiness. Do what you really want to do. Follow the desires of your heart, and your blithe spirit will infect others. As you free yourself, your deeds and words will inspire others to break through the prison bars that have kept them from fulfillment. There is so much joy, so much good. Embrace it and express it, radiate and luxuriate in it.
“Take my hands,” she said, and the sound of the voice was like music.
As we made the connection, waves of ecstasy washed through me, and I took on the fullness of this magnificent being that I am an extension of. No longer was I observing this shimmering radiance. I was it. The glory I had in the beginning, I thought, I have now and ever will have. Complete in my individuality, I understood the old admonition “Know thyself.”
17. Returning to Life on Earth
A gentle pulling caught my attention, and I heard the melodic voice once more.
“Hold on to as much as you can as you make the descent back into the body and resume personality.”
I felt myself moving backward rapidly, feet first, as though I was being sucked into some vortex. Like a distant chime I heard the words: “Remember, pray without ceasing. Play, love, laugh, live for the joy of it. Have fun. Happiness is holy.”
I had no power over the movement. I raced past groups of people dressed in white, and I recognized some of the faces. They waved and spoke to me, but I was moving so fast that I couldn’t make out their words. I thought I saw my friend, Beth, and I wanted to stop and visit for a while, but I couldn’t slow down. I was nearing the outer limits of that dimension, and my consciousness was beginning to register earth time. They continued to converse with me, but the picture was frozen, as though the pause button on the VCR had been pressed during a movie: They were inert, mouths open. I was out of sync with their “time.”
As I approached the physical form, I passed five individuals who seemed to be assisting me. Maggi was still with me, and the last thing I remember seeing was her sweet face.
Back in the body, I was aware of sounds and John’s face, but my mind was fuzzy. It was much clearer when I was out of the body.
[Jan’s near-death experience ends here.]
Later, when I wrote my remembrance in my journal, thought again of Dr. Stark’s book, “A Doctor Goes to Heaven.” He wrote: “Matter of earth was so gross by comparison to the substance of heaven, which was subtle and more ethereal. There were similarities of structure, yet contrasts … There were magnificent halls of records where one could discover when loved ones would be coming over. Other halls with the unfolding of planetary history, so ancient at no work of earth dared to encompass such things … In the center of the metropolis were buildings of indescribable beauty of structure … auditoriums for theater, sports and other activities. There were temples of such grandeur that it was breathtaking!” [17]
I also found it interesting that when I mentioned the Temple of Knowledge at a meeting of the International Association for Near-Death Studies, a woman excitedly raised her hand. I paused to let her speak, and she asked what it looked like.
“It’s so clear in my mind that I could draw it,” I said, and began to describe what I had seen. As I did, she nodded knowingly, and her eyes began to sparkle. “You went there too,” I said.
“Yes,” she replied.
I know what I experienced, but it is nice to hear from someone who has been to the same place. It’s like telling a person that you stayed in a certain hotel in Paris, and they say, “I was there too – wasn’t it wonderful?”
Then it becomes a shared experience, and very meaningful for both parties.
18. References
[1] Harold Richter Stark, A Doctor Goes to Heaven (Boerne, Tex.: Quartus Books, 1982), p. 6.
[2] New International Bible, Numbers 22:21-34.
[3] New International Bible, Genesis 3:1-6.
[4] Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth (New York: Doubleday, 1988), p. 75.
[5] Manly P. Hall, The Secret Teachings of All Ages (Los Angeles: The Philosophical Research Society, Inc., 1977), p. 92.
[6] Valerie Moolman, The Meaning of Your Dreams (New York: Castle Books, 1969), p. 97.
[7] Michael Talbot, The Holographic Universe (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991), p. 245.
[8] Ibid., p. 259.
[9] Alice A. Bailey, from the writings of, compiled by a student, Ponder on This (New York: Lucis Publishing Company, 1971), p. 50.
[10] Manly P. Hall, The Secret Teachings of All Ages, p. 52
[11] Manly P. Hall, The Secret Teachings of All Ages, p. 83.
[12] Emanuel Swedenborg, The Divine Love and the Divine Wisdom (New York: Swedenborg Foundation, Inc., 1949), p. 64.
[13] George G. Ritchie, Return from Tomorrow (Old Tappan, N.J.: Spire Books, Fleming H. Revell Company, 1978), p. 51.
[14] Rebecca Ruter Springer, Intra Muros, p. 119.
[15] John Randolph Price, The Planetary Commission (Boerne, Tex.: Quartus Books, 1984), pp. 77-78.
[16] George G. Ritchie, Return from Tomorrow, P. 64.
[17] Harold Richter Stark, A Doctor Goes to Heaven pp. 7, 9, 10.
