My mother died on November 24, 2001, in the winter when the frozen Montana soil makes funerals and burials impractical. So her memorial and funeral was set for June 22, 2002. I was living in California at the time recovering from another bout of bipolar disorder mania and depression after a stay in a VA psych ward. As the day of Mom’s funeral approached, the more I realized how it would be the most emotional experience of my life, probably too emotional for my mental health, perhaps leading to another stay the psych ward. It had been several years since I had been to my Mom’s home. But she wasn’t there anymore. Her ashes were there. And her presence would be everywhere. So I decided to do the safe thing and stay home. Still, I was sick to my stomach over the decision. Thankfully, my father provided me a videotape of everything. Watching my Mom’s memorial and funeral on video gave me the ability experience it while remain emotionally removed from everything on the video.
1. My Spontaneous After-Death Communication of My Mother
Four days after viewing my Mom’s memorial video, on July 1, 2002, I was sitting alone in my room watching a television show which was a modern version of Candid Camera – except they do cruel tricks on people. I watched as they were playing mind games on an unsuspecting victim who looked remarkably like my twin brother Steve. I was reminded of my brother’s situation and all the pain and grief that he and his wife had been going through. No one was suffering more over the accident than Steve and his family. Along with their grief over Mom, they had to deal with permanent injuries, and lost employment – not to mention the loss of other things that cannot be valued.
As I thought about my brother, the mind games they were playing on the man on TV was bringing him to tears. Seeing this man in tears, who looked remarkably like my brother, made me cry.
Then something very bizarre but wonderful happened to me. I suddenly felt what I can only describe as a large invisible beam of energy made of pure love and happiness hit my chest. This entire experience did not involve any of my five senses. The beam remained focused over my heart as it poured this powerful energy of heavenly bliss into me. Wonderful feelings of intense love and ecstasy such as I have never felt before was filling and transforming my heart, mind and soul. I sensed this beam was coming from the sky, through the ceiling, and into my chest. I wasn’t too concerned about what it was at the time because it felt incredibly good. As it poured in, I grabbed my chest in ecstasy to let as much of this beam of love and happiness in as possible. I remember having a passing thought of concern that this must be some kind of a gigantic manic depressive episode that I have never experienced before. But the wonderful feelings I was experiencing made me dismiss that thought quickly. The strange transformational feeling I was experiencing began slowly from around place where the beam was entering my chest. Then it slowly spread out from my chest to the rest of my body. I remember thinking how it felt like a man of stone coming to life. I remember thinking that God must be jump-starting my heart. This wonderful and magical feeling lasted at least a minute.
Then, at the height of this ecstasy, came the astounding realization in my mind’s eye that my mother was standing next to me. “Oh, Mom!” I cried. Having nothing to grab onto, I intuitively wrapped my arms around myself and felt her hugging me. Any sorrow remaining within me from losing her, just burst right out of me. At the same time, she filled me to overflowing with heaven which she brought with her. Everything I wanted to say to her, since the day she died, came out of me to her in my mind as well.
Although my five senses didn’t detect her, her presence around me was so strong that I didn’t need to use them. The combination of her strong presence and love, and the ecstatic feelings I was having, elevated my awareness to a degree that I was using senses reserved for hallucinations which I was well experienced with. But this was no drug or psychotic hallucination I have ever experienced. Being with her again made me suddenly realize how long I had been without her. This led to the strange realization that, since her death, I had been slowing forgetting about the feeling of being around her – her presence – without even knowing it. I realized this is how people are able to live the rest of their lives without their loved ones. Over time, we just naturally forget. That momentary thought was unsettling and only her strong presence with me took that thought immediately away.
I had the astonishing realization of my mother knowing from heaven I was despairing over my brother and somehow a “door” was opened allowing her to visit and comfort me. I also understood this became a reality because I was open to the possibility, and would want it to happen, and could handle it if it did happen. So she moved heaven and earth to make it happen. I also realized it was too much for her to bear knowing I was grieving about Steve and his family this way. Along with her sheer force of will, the door was opened for her to visit me from the Other Side. I also felt her communications with us from the Other Side was something she strongly wanted to do.
As I basked in her presence, tears of both joy and sorrow flowed out of me at the same time. As she was cuddling me, I transformed into her little boy again. I could view my relationship with my mother from a perspective I never knew before — from the vantage point of my whole life — all at once. For the rest of that night, I was her child. Memories and feelings I had of my childhood flooded my heart and mind.
Although our communication was mostly non-verbal, I remember moments of strongly hearing her voice in my mind. But most of my experience with her occurred on a conscious level too deep for me to recall. But I do remember her telling me these words:
“Momma’s here. I’m here to make everything alright. I’m still here.“
I understood her words to mean, although she was in heaven, she is still here with us and aware of what’s going on. And right now, she came back to earth to comfort me and bring heaven to me. I felt her presence multiplied to such a degree, it felt like I was in heaven just being with her again. And I wanted this feeling to last forever. I wanted to be with her forever. I wanted her to take me to heaven. But I also knew this was physically impossible.
I overflowed with heaven from her presence; and thanked God and Mom for allowing it to happen.
I knew this was also a goodbye — the goodbye I couldn’t have before she died.
I also realized my mother allowed me to catch a glimpse of heaven and the love awaiting us there when we meet again.
I was not aware of exactly how long my visitation with my mother lasted, but my guess was about an hour or so. And this heavenly experience didn’t just end abruptly. Everything gradually returned back to normal until eventually I couldn’t feel her presence in the room anymore. But within me, my mother had filled my heart and soul with tremendous happiness and love.
I spent the rest of that magical night contemplating what happened. I knew my mother visited me in an after-death communication because I have read so much about them. Now I have experienced what I have been reading about all these years. This experience with my mother made me even more interested in after-death communications.
But because of my own personal experience with psychedelic, psychotic, and psychic (spiritual) hallucinations, I knew the visitation experience with my mother was a form of hallucination. As I said earlier, none of my five senses were involved — only my intuitive and spiritual senses were involved — and this is why I view this as a form of hallucination. But it was a spontaneous hallucination on a massive scale and this is what makes it different than any hallucination I have ever experienced. Hallucinations don’t happen spontaneously unless there is a drug involved or psychosis present. My experience was more like the religious ecstasies I have read about; so I don’t consider them miracles either. Miracles by definition are impossible; but I know these kind of experiences are possible. Even if my mother had materialized in front of me, and I could see her with my own eyes, I would not consider it a miracle. Historical records and recent studies into after-death communications are filled with such accounts of actual materializations. For my mother’s visitation to a miracle, she would have had to leave something physical behind — such as her heavenly shoe or ring. Now that would be a miracle!
My mother didn’t leave me a ring, but she left me with something far more meaningful to me. And I found it only hours later when I woke up the next morning.
2. The Song “Moon River” and ADC Synchronicity
The next morning, I awoke with wonderful thoughts and feelings of my mother and her visit only hours ago. I laid there in bed awhile thinking about how all the happiness I was experiencing might put me in danger of becoming manic — the other side of manic depression marked by elevated mood. I decided I would see my doctor just to be safe.
I then got out of bed and turned on the television set which is something I often do. What happened next was far more difficult for me to believe than my visitation with my mother just hours earlier. What happened when I turned on the TV was practically a miracle.
When I turned the TV set on, immediately the song Moon River began to play! Time seemed to momentarily stop as my jaw hit the floor. I couldn’t believe my ears! By pure coincidence, I turned the TV on to a movie that just happened to play the song Moon River – my mother’s song! This song was also sung by my brother at my mother’s memorial only nine days prior. By randomly turning the TV set on to the song Moon River, I had just experienced the “Mother of all Synchronistic Coincidences” — pun intended. And at the time, I didn’t need to do the math to know how improbable such an event could occur at random. Later, I calculated the odds of turning a TV on anytime at random and hearing the song Moon River in a movie. The odds of this happening at random is over 1 in 6.5 million. By comparison, the odds of being struck by lightning by pure chance is 1 in 5 million. I also discovered that the movie appearing on the TV that morning was called Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The cable records are there to prove it.
When Moon River began to play, I picked up my metaphorical jaw off the floor, sat down in my chair, and let the message of Moon River flow. It was Henri Mancini’s orchestra playing the song and I hadn’t heard this version of Moon River since I was a child listening to it on my mother’s stereo. And it moved me to my very soul. I also knew I would have to see my doctor after this because I knew this was the closest thing to a miracle I have ever experienced. And I feared mania would carry me away – and it was pure heaven.
Hearing the song Moon River that morning meant so many things to me. It was a “sign” from God. It was certainly proof to my mind there was indeed life after death. It was physical confirmation validating my spiritual experience with my mother was a physical reality. It was the biggest coincidence — a synchronicity — that ever happened to me. Just hours before, my mother visited me. Just four days before, I watched my brother sing Moon River on videotape. Nine days before, he sang Moon River at our mother’s memorial. Eleven days before, my sister remembered for the first time since childhood, Moon River as our mother’s favorite song. The message is clear — my mother is still alive though she is physically dead.
3. Interesting Facts About the Song Moon River
Moon River is a beautiful song from the early 60’s which my mother identified with as a young mother. For me, the song represents a time of innocence for my family and for America in general. Those were the illusionary days of Ozzie and Harriet, Leave it to Beaver, and My Three Sons — before the political assassinations, the Vietnam war, and the social upheaval came and blew all the illusions away.
Moon River, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you’re going,
I’m going your way.
Two drifters, off to see the world.
There’s such a lot of world to see.
We’re after the same rainbow’s end,
waiting round the bend,
my huckleberry friend.
Moon River, and me.
— Lyrics by Johnny Mercer, Music by Henry Mancini
After the very first screening of the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the president of Paramount paced around the room, puffing on a cigar, and said, “Well, I’ll tell you one thing, you can get rid of the song.” Thankfully, Audrey Hepburn was there and to her credit, stood up and said, “Over my dead body.”
Henri Mancini’s version of Moon River won the Academy Award in 1962 for Best Original Song.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (Paramount, 1961) starred Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard and was directed by Blake Edwards. The screenplay was written by George Axelrod based on a novel by Truman Capote. The song Moon River was sung in the movie by Audrey Hepburn.
What is meant by “my huckleberry friend” in the song Moon River? In the book entitled, Our Huckleberry Friend: The Life, Times and Lyrics of Johnny Mercer, it describes how Johnny and his friends would enjoy spending the summers picking wild huckleberries (i.e., blueberries) by a river now known as Moon River. They would put the huckleberries in pails and bring them home to put in ice cream. So this was the origin of “my huckleberry friend” — not about Huckleberry Finn as many people erroneous believe. It was just Johnny as a little boy with his friends enjoying themselves as they picked huckleberries.
Other movies with the song Moon River in it include: The Godfather, Ocean’s Eleven (2001), The Presidio, Born on the Fourth of July, and The Brotherhood.
You can also listen to a clip of the song “Moon River” as performed by Henri Mancini.
4. My Metaphysical Synchronicity With the Moon
My close association with the moon and Moon River intrigues me. I am a moon child born under the sign of Cancer. Moon children are said to be very emotional almost to the point of being unable to control themselves which is often true of me. My manic depressive illness has a connection with the moon. Mental illness was thought by the ancients to be caused by the moon (lunatic = luna = moon). My heavenly visit with my mother occurred in July under the sign of Cancer.
The month of November of 2001, the month of my mother’s death, was unique in that two full moons occurred within that month. This astronomical configuration is termed a “Blue Moon” and it occurs once in approximately once every two and a half years. During November 2001 the first full moon fell in Taurus on the 1st of the month and on the 30th of November Gemini was graced with the second or “Blue Moon”. According to astrologers, the November 2001 Blue Moon would strongly influence the signs of Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio and Sagittarius. My mother was born under the sign of Taurus.
I had my astrological birth chart created by a professional astrologer many years ago. I asked her how fraternal twin brothers, such as my brother and I, who were different in personality and tastes (unlike some identical twins) could somehow be connected to a similar birth chart. She explained how minor differences between birth time in minutes or hours can affect a birth chart. She also explained how one brother’s birth chart can be interpreted using Sun-sign astrological principles and the other using Moon-sign astrology. I clearly fall under a Moon-sign interpretation.
Because I am a male Cancer and moon child, this means the moon also rules my relationship with my mother and other important females in my life. This astrological principle certainly applies to me. I also have a sister and step-mother are moon children.
In astrological terms, the moon represents a general reflection of what humans have been in past lives. Because I have strong memories of some of my past life identities, this astrological principle certainly applies to me.
Considering my connection to my mother is so strong, and my astrological connection with the moon is so strong, and our connection with Moon River is so strong, this may explain why my “Moon River experience” was so strong and why Moon River had such a positive effect on healing the grief of losing the central component of my family, and why Moon River shows how my connection to my mother will never be broken.