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1. Introduction to Sex and NDEs
Across near-death experiences (NDEs), people often report shedding the limitations of the physical body and awakening as light, consciousness, or a sphere of love. In NDE states, sex and gender feel like earthly roles which are useful for life and learning, but not definitive of who we are. Many NDErs describe themselves as genderless or androgynous, and encounters with the Being of Light, spirit guides, angels, and even God are frequently perceived as beyond male or female, embodying qualities we might call both.
This theme appears in NDE research and firsthand testimonies alike: children and adults, LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ experiencers, mystics and physicians. NDE testimonies describe an inner essence that integrates what we label “masculine” and “feminine,” and some speak of a profound “soul merge” – an intimacy and union far deeper than physical sex. Other NDErs note that orgasm, meditation, or peak mental states can sometimes open doorways to NDE-like consciousness.
Christian de la Huerta wrote in his groundbreaking book, Coming Out Spiritually, that there was a time when gay people “… were the shamans, the healers, the visionaries, the mediators, the peacekeepers, the ‘people who walk between the worlds,’ the keepers of beauty.” (1999, p. 3).
Dr. Melvin Morse wrote in his 2001 book, “Transformed By The Light,” that “The NDEs that gays and lesbians report are powerful reminders that all human beings share a common truth: We will have NDEs when we die… Gay or straight, brown skin or white skin, or rich and poor alike, we will all have one when we die.”
The following article explores these connections in depth: the transcendence of gender identity during NDEs; depictions of androgynous angels, spirit guides, and the Being of Light; NDE testimonies of an androgynous or genderless God; LGBTQ NDE testimonies of unconditional acceptance; NDE research on gender, sexuality, and aftereffects; and the mystery of ecstatic union beyond the body. Taken together, these insights suggest a simple, transformative idea: our true identity is consciousness and love rather than gender.
Many of the NDE testimonies referenced in this article are drawn from firsthand accounts generously shared on the Near-Death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF.org) website. I gratefully acknowledge NDERF and its founders, Dr. Jeffrey Long and Jody Long, for their decades of dedication to collecting, preserving, and publishing the world’s most comprehensive archives of NDE testimonies. Their ongoing research and stewardship of these testimonies make it possible for readers, researchers, and NDErs alike to deepen their understanding of the profound insights reported during NDEs.
2. NDE Transcendence of Gender Identity
Many NDErs report becoming a being of light without a specific body form. They perceive themselves as “energy,” “consciousness,” or “a sphere of love.” In these states, gender is experienced as an earthly “costume” – useful for incarnation but irrelevant to the soul’s essence.
According to NDEr and NDE researcher, P.M.H. Atwater: “Creed, race, gender, and sexual preference have no real meaning to God. No matter who we are, we were all children joined under one God. The only rule is God’s true law “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
According to Kevin Williams: “God is really only concerned about what is within us, our heart and spirituality, not our sexual preference. The way to heaven is through love for everyone unconditionally. We do not go to heaven by worshiping Jesus, or by believing in his name, or by believing in the cross, or by accepting him as our savior. We grow to heaven by creating heaven within us by practicing the unconditional love which Jesus has for everyone no matter who they are.”
a. The Androgynous Soul
Betty Eadie on the male and female aspects to the soul: “During my experience, I learned that there are two parts to every person. They can be described in various ways: male and female, intellectual and emotional, protective and nurturing, right brain and left brain. Often we go through life being one way or the other, but we can learn to balance both parts. Being off balance, too far one way or the other, keeps the spirit away from where it needs to be to achieve its greatest growth.”
Mellen-Thomas Benedict learned every soul is both male and female: “Individual identity is evolving like branches of a fractal; the group soul explores in our individuality … This is how Godhead is exploring God’s Self – through you … I began to see that each one of us humans are soul mates. We are part of the same soul fractaling out in many creative directions, but still the same. Now I look at every human being that I ever see, and I see a soul mate, my soul mate, the one I have always been looking for. Beyond that, the greatest soul mate that you will ever have is yourself. We are each both male and female. We experience this in the womb and we experience this in reincarnation states.”
The late Dr. Richard Eby, an OB/GYN, learned in his NDE that there are no genitals in the spirit world – something an OB/GYN would be concerned about. In 1972, Dr. Eby accidentally fell from his three-story apartment landing head-first resulting in a profound NDE. While experiencing the wonders of paradise, Dr. Eby met Jesus Christ in all his glory and had a long conversation with him. Dr. Eby states: “As I bowed my head, I noted a glowing pure-white gown which somehow I had not seen when I looked through it in search of organs! I was awed by its total weightlessness and silky softness. My raised arms had parted its overlapping folds for the moment, revealing me as a neuter (i.e. no sex organs)! This came as a shock, although I had not felt surprise at the absence of defects or scars. This alteration was so unexpected!” When Dr. Eby asked Jesus why he had no genitals, Jesus replied, “Yes, Dick, you were always a man, a child of God who returned our love by telling others of the good news about me. Remember? You read in my book (the Bible) the very first order I gave to Adam and Eve? ‘Be fruitful and multiply!’ I told them to replenish the Earth, not heaven. Again I told the Sadducees (who did not believe in a resurrection) that they ‘knew not the scriptures’ when they speculated about wives in heaven. I explained that after the resurrection all would be like angels who do not marry nor raise families. Everything in heaven is created or re-created into perfection! It is all in my book.”
During actor Gary Busey‘s NDE, he described himself as having no gender and hearing an androgynous voice: “When I went to the Other Side there were balls of light in the air and three of them came down to my essence. I was about a foot long and a quarter of an inch wide. I wasn’t a boy or a girl. I had no emotions from Earth. And the light on the left spoke to me in an androgynous voice, in thought telling me what I’ve been doing was good.”
Tony D. learned there is no gender in the spirit world: “I could see all around, front, back sideways. Wherever I placed my attention is where I saw. Whomever I saw, I felt as though I was in love with that being. There was no distinction as to gender, only a being. I knew that I was home.”
Anelia G. discovered her soul to be genderless: “I had a clear understanding of who I was on a fundamental level. I am not talking about earthly attributes like gender, race or ethnicity. I am talking about the spirit me, for lack of a better term. I wasn’t a human form nor did I have an age. I just was.”
According to NDEr and NDE researcher P.M.H. Atwater, souls are without gender: “We are all “sons of God” in the sense that we are all souls of God’s creation, without gender, without form, without nationality, complete and whole and perfect as we explore the never-endingness of God’s wonderment.”
During her NDE, Keely S. was told: “Religious fixations, like gender, sexuality, or immigration, are silly and ridiculous… I was weighed down by these concerns, and now I see them as meaningless. We are love. We are the universe given life and choice. We should explore this with wonder and love in our hearts. Life is a miracle. Every person is a wonder.”
Dr. Pam Kircher presented an NDE paper where she stated: “Near-death experiences are not gender-related or age related.”
b. The Androgynous Being of Light
Sandra Rogers learned that God is both male and female: “There is one God who is worshipped through many different teachings of many different religious faiths. God is in all of us. God is male and female, all races, and the reason for all religions. Even those who say they do not believe in God believe in energy and/or a life force; therefore, they do actually believe in God, they just have not figured out the name for ‘God’ yet.”
Heron S. also describes an androgynous Being of Light: Heron encountered a radiant, human-shaped Being of Light whose luminous presence pulsed like a flowing, liquid energy. Immersed in its nourishing warmth, Heron perceived the figure as strong and comforting – qualities reminiscent of masculine energy, though not exclusively so. The Being had no clear gender, yet radiated a powerful, serene essence.
Jennifer T. also describes an androgynous Being of Light: “During this time, I am feeling that this Being of Light is both male and female. I describe it as being calming and protective like a woman yet strong like a male.”
Luis S. encountered an immense androgynous Being: “I was taken out of that infinite light and, surrounded again by a void of blackness, I saw an immense human body, with no specific gender, or better said, with both genders simultaneously. This human being was bigger than the whole solar system. It was standing still, but it had a very vibrant life within it. There were billions of people working and living there. This human was the shape of the kingdom of God.”
Chip Mc. encountered a genderless Being: “I turned and looked over at the Being and it ‘looked’ at me and then reassured me that I would be okay. But it didn’t actually speak. I just knew what it was communicating to me. The Being had no gender, but it did feel more feminine and softer.”
Abigail K. encountered an androgynous telepathic voice: “The experience began within a white space and with a telepathic voice, the gender I could not tell. The voice said ‘Do you want to go forward or do you want to go back?’ I instinctively knew what the voice was asking and excitedly I chose forward.”
Ruei H. also encountered an androgynous voice: “Abruptly, there was a loud voice from a distance, I could not recognize its gender. It seemed like a mixed male and female voice. It was calling me, ‘Come back, Hurry back.’ At this moment, I had my doubts, but replied, ‘Back to where?’ Right after my question, I was pushed forcefully. I could not tell where was the touch was coming rom because I was in a ball form.”
Sandra E. encountered an androgynous guardian angel of light: “It was the brightest light I’d ever seen. I was surrounded by unconditional love that permeated through everything. Then a tunnel formed. There was a presence of a being. Telepathically, I was told that the being was “the guardian.” It had no gender. In fact, I learned there is no gender on other side.”
Dr. Liz Dale described an LGBT NDErs insight into God: “This was a God of absolute, unconditional love I communicated with. It had no sex or form. Does love have a gender or physical form on this our human plane? I know now that our spirits will continue when we ‘die’ from this earthly form.”
Another LGBT NDEr in Dr. Liz Dale’s study described God as a nonsexual entity: “I realized life was about risk and openness and honesty. I had been afraid for years of the labels lesbian and gay. I believe now that a nonsexual entity of all love exists for all time for all of us. We are watched over and guided and cared for always. We are never alone before or after death. I believe we are messengers to tell others the path is safe, loving, and (there is) nothing to fear.”
Concerning “initial greeters” in NDEs, the NDE researcher P.M.H. Atwater states that God or God’s Presence or God’s Voice is seldom given a gender by adult NDErs. However, childhood NDErs often describe God as an older male.
This suggests that gender polarity dissolves in higher dimensions, merging into what mystics describe as divine androgyny – a state of unity encompassing both the receptive and active aspects of consciousness.
Anthropologist Dr. Gregory Shushan notes that gender archetypes in afterlife imagery tend to mirror the cultural pantheon of the experiencer but dissolve once the person reaches higher spiritual levels of the experience.
c. The Androgynous God
Nicole learned that “God is both male and female energy.”
Amy Call encountered a genderless God: “God felt to be the Supreme Highest Vibration and Frequency, that felt like more of an ESSENCE than an old man, to me. I still feel God is ineffable. God was all around and in everything. God no longer felt male to me. I didn’t sense a gender, if there was one. The idea of that just seemed silly from the Other Side. God was just all that is beautiful and peaceful and One, and all that is Good.”
d. The Androgynous Angels
During Berkley Carter Mills’ NDE, he encountered androgynous angels: When Mills looked up, there were two angels replete with robes, wings, bare feet, and streaming hair – no color but opaque white – and no particular gender. “What’s going on?” he asked. “We’ve come to take you to God,” they answered.
Tricia Barker encountered androgynous angels: “I noticed two of the most intelligent beings I had ever seen. They were very large, approximately eight or nine feet, androgynous, with long shoulder-length hair and composed more of light than solid form. I call them angels only because I have no other term for them. These angels were part of an added reality and nothing like a dream.”
3. LGBTQ NDE Testimonies
LGBTQ is an acronym for a person’s sexual orientation that stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer. In use since the 1990s, the term is used to replace the term “Gay” because activists within the the LGBTQ community believed that the term “Gay community” did not accurately represent all those to whom it referred.
These accounts echo the same universal features of love, unity, and acceptance — often with additional insights about the fluidity of identity.
For many, the NDE affirmed that their authentic identity was spiritual first, human second. Upon return, some report a deep reconciliation with their gender identity, feeling that divine love fully embraces them as they are.
a. Dr. Liz Dale’s LGBT NDE Testimonies
In Dr. Liz Dale‘s LGBT NDE 2017 book, “Crossing Over and Coming Home: Twenty-One Authors Discuss the Gay NDE as Spiritual Transformation,” a gay man’s NDE is described: “And then I felt the presence of Jesus Christ all around me.. And I asked him, ‘Do I really have to go back?’… Then Christ said that he would send me guardian angels to aid me in my healing, and to guide and protect me. I awakened to find two men kneeling over me, with expressions of apprehension and concern on both their faces. For some reason I felt that they might be gay men. I felt very strongly that both men symbolized what would prove to be a succession of “angels” that Christ had promised to send me.”
Dr. Liz Dale states: “Within the stories of the LGBT NDEs, divine light is an essential component. The majority of LGBT NDErs whose accounts I collected (73 percent) reported such experiences. For example, one LGBT NDEr who had taken an overdose of sleeping pills and alcohol wrote the following: “All of a sudden I felt as though I was moving through a corridor. It was dark but not at all frightening. I sensed the presence of others. Some of these ‘spirit entities’ were moving more slowly than others toward the light. Suddenly, I was in a place that appeared to be a room suffused with light. There were no walls or ceilings or floors. Light seemed to extend into infinity.”
An LGBT woman described her childhood NDE from a near-drowning in the following way: “I do not remember struggling or being afraid. I felt only deep peace and happiness. While my body was at the bottom of the river, I remember looking up toward the surface. I enjoyed watching a beautiful array of dancing, brilliant sparkles of color from the yellow sunlight coming through the river water. I was calm and fascinated by the beauty of the light and the reeds coming through the mud.”
An LGBT man who had had an NDE during an extended coma following an emergency appendectomy at age 17, wrote: “I will say that my NDE dramatically changed who I was and how I lived. I live not by what I read and ‘think’ is right; I live by what I ‘know’ is right for me. This doesn’t mean that it’s right for you. I still go to church and worship God but God doesn’t ‘need’ people to worship Him. One doesn’t have to do anything to go to heaven… We are here on Earth to learn from each other and help each other. If we want to ‘learn,’ we must keep an open mind. Just like everyone else here, I am not simply a human being. I am a spirit with a human shell. Someday I will leave my body and continue in the spiritual, non-material realm again.”
In Dr. Liz Dale’s LGBT NDE study, one NDEr learned of God’s acceptance: “During my experience, I learned that God loves me just the way I am. I am learning to love myself.”
b. Christian Andreason’s LGBT NDE Insights
Christian Andreason learned about bisexuality during his NDE: “When I got to heaven, one of the first things I asked was about the very issue of bisexuality, as it had caused me a great deal of concern my whole life. My lady guide walked me to a room that had a large screen in it. On the screen, I saw two forms of light conjoining with one another in the act of making love. My guide then asked me to tell her which was the male and which was the female? I said, ‘I dunno!’ She smiled at me and said, ‘It does not matter.’
“She went on to say that the two lights were what God saw when he looked upon us. She explained that God always sees us as our Higher Selves and that gender is a very temporary thing that will not be around forever.
“It was further explained to me that God himself is both a Mother essence and a Father essence to us, therefore; God fully understands our attractions for members of similar genders.
“It was told to me (or rather I was reminded) that there are no mistakes in the way each of us were made. God knew what each of us would be challenged and blessed with. We each act according to our heart (or developed Soul center) and as we mature spiritually, we come up higher each time.
“One other thing I was shown was a couple engaging in activities that focused on lust rather than love. My lady guide said that these individuals were in great spiritual duress and bringing upon themselves a life that would present much challenge.
“I saw that their soul lights began to dim significantly and there was a dark haze all about them. My lady guide then told me a time would come when these individuals would need to learn to come to God with their sexual selves, so that he could help them to use their sexuality in a more loving way. More than likely, emotional or mental illness would emerge and help guide them to a more loving path of expression.
“As I looked upon the figures, I sadly commented that lust was a major factor that involved many gay people. The lady smiled at me and explained that all fall into lust before we fully embrace the light within ourselves.
“Later the lady also revealed to me that the two dimly beings in spiritual duress … had been a married heterosexual couple. The dark haze was what I call gray or shadow energy. This is a challenging type of essence that coexists with us on the planet. I believe this is what the Bible refers to as demons. These entities’ job unto Creation is to help bring us additional weight and life obstacles which match our non-positive or unloving thoughts. With the weight of their essence on us, our inner light of our lives, we are once again encouraged to return to more loving thought and action. As soon as we produce enough light in our soul from having been loving, the gray or shadow energy is then popped off of us.
“Where there is light, darkness cannot remain! However, we must maintain loving action and thinking because if we return to a less positive way of being, these entities return bringing reinforcements with them. When this happens it is time to do spiritual warfare!”
c. Miscellaneous LGBT NDE Testimonies
Kyal L. learned that being gay was irrelevant to God: “I was given a choice by some angels whether to stay on Earth or go into the light. Even though I wanted to die every day, I chose to come back to the world thinking I could still help or do something good with my life. Being gay was irrelevant to the divine, by the way.”
Jesus relieved Sandi T. of her LGBT issues: “Many of the deepest and most troubling issues I’d had with Christianity came to light during and after the experience. One huge challenge I’d had around how I had been raised was around LGBQT issues, and the idea that ‘God’ would make a person a certain way and then hate them for being that way. This tied in, indirectly, to the fact of my autism and why would ‘God’ make me autistic and hate me for being autistic? I naturally understood that this extended to others who had things about them that they couldn’t change. This conversation with ‘Jesus’ helped significantly relieve the immense inner turmoil I was undergoing with regards to gay people.”
Nicole learned that God loves gay and transgender people: “No matter who you are in this world, gay, straight, black, white, African or American, whoever you are, male, female, transgender, animal, incest, whoever or whatever if it’s created, God loves it. God loves you.”
Alex T. saw gay people in heaven: “As we rode into heaven, it was like being downtown in a busy city. People were all walking around, going to places, had the look of purpose to them, no one was idle. All types of people, not just Christians. There were gay and straight people too.”
A part of Rebecca P.‘s mission is to care for her lesbian lover: “Given choice to stay or return to body by the Creator Spirit… THE LOVE… I chose to return only because as was verified to me my work was not completed part of which was a friend (my lesbian lover) who needed me greatly and was suffering terribly by my sudden passing… God only cares about the purity of our love for one another… Deliberate hurting is the path to hell… Major violations of the LOVE.”
Terre D., a lesbian, felt unconditional love: “There was this great, great feeling of unconditional love. I totally understand what religious people say about God’s unconditional love, this feeling that death is going home. It is like being embraced and loved absolutely.”
Kerry Kirk, a lesbian, felt complete and total love by the Being of Light: “I found myself on my face in worship in front of this Being of Light. I felt a warmth, the most intense love filled me. It was an energy that penetrated every fiber of my being. I had never felt such a complete and total love.”
Kerry B. learned that God loved her: “I felt a deep heaviness as I stared directly at an Almighty, Genderless God. I was thinking, ‘Was this the Lake of Fire moment? Would I be cast into hell for being an abomination?’ With absolute humility, I uttered seven words, ‘I’m gay, will you still love me?’ The Brilliant, Loving Light formed into wings. At Godspeed, He whisked me into His vast spiritual arms while huddling up the universe… As God brought me in for a Cosmic Hug, He said, ‘You are my child. I love you. I love you. I love you. Go tell ‘em.'”
William Si. saw four gay friends in heaven: “I was able to see four old friends that I had had on this Earth. These friends had all been killed in a car wreck after they had been hit by a drunk driver… The four friends of mine shouldn’t have been in heaven at all, because religion had condemned them to hell. All four of them on this Earth had been gay. They had no shame or guilt for their way of life. Society had the shame and guilt.”
John L. experienced unconditional love: “I’d never felt such peace and contentment in my entire life. I felt fearless, emboldened, and infinitely happy. I am gay, so at that point in my young life (Indiana in the eighties) it wasn’t exactly an enlightened community. I was very isolated due to my sexuality and felt like I could never truly share myself as an entire person with anyone. To be flooded with a feeling of unconditional love, even for an instant, felt miraculous.”
Kit S. saw gay and straight souls in the afterlife: “I understood that I had to leave this wonderful place. Before I left, I saw lines of people. They were gay and straight, different colors, different religions, some were handicapped, some very young, and some who old. These people were all holding hands, showing love and forgiveness towards one another.”
Jesus didn’t bring up Sebastian X.‘s homosexuality: “I believe my maternal grandmother, deceased for years, was present along with a Beaming Light I recognize as Jesus stating, ‘It is not your time yet. You have other lives to touch. Go back home!'”
God didn’t bring up David H.‘s homosexuality: “At this point, I could sense that it was time for me to go back to Earth. Looking at God, I said ‘Please Lord, can I stay?’ ‘Hush,’ He would say, ‘Your time on Earth has not been completed. Now, go off and be a good lad for there is much more for you to learn.”
God didn’t bring up Derek C.‘s homosexuality: “I thank God for giving me the chance to stay here and ‘take care of my kids’… I have a great testimony of my faith, one that as a gay man is very hard for many to understand, but one that I could never deny.”
4. NDEs Triggered By Sexual Orgasm
Many people are surprised to learn that NDEs and out-of-body experiences (OBEs) can be triggered by orgasms. Scientists know that the largest sex organ of the human body is the brain. Human brain wave patterns show distinct changes during orgasm which indicate the importance of the brain’s limbic system in orgasms. Male and female brains demonstrate similar changes during orgasm, with brain activity scans showing a temporary decrease in brain activity of large parts of the cerebral cortex with normal or increased activity in the limbic areas of the brain. Research has shown that the emotional centers of men’s and women’s brains also deactivate during orgasm, but to a lesser extent than in women.
Brain scans on both sexes have shown that the pleasure centers of a man’s brain show more intense activity than in women during orgasm according to Judith Horstman in her book, The Scientific American Book of Love, Sex and the Brain. Traditional Eastern sexual rites, called Tantra Yoga, may have emerged from early Hindu Tantra as a means of triggering biochemical transformations in the body to create heightened states of awareness in both partners achieved by “kundalini energy.” The French phrase “la petite mort” is translated as “the little death” which is an idiom and euphemism for orgasm. This term has generally been interpreted to describe the post-orgasmic state of unconsciousness that some people have after having a sexual experience. In a wider sense, “the little death” can refer to the spiritual release that comes with orgasm or to a short period of transcendence as a result of the expenditure of the “life force” – the feeling which is caused by the release of oxytocin in the brain after the occurrence of orgasm.
Margaret Birkin had an NDE-like experience resulting from an orgasm during sex: “One evening, I had an experience of the most incredible feeling. It felt as if every nerve in my body was alive with energy. This was accompanied by the most wonderful feeling of bliss. As the feeling enveloped me, I found myself leaving my body. I found myself in my own chest area looking up at what I knew was my crown chakra. I could see a light ahead of me. All of a sudden I became frightened to move. I actually thought I was dying, and for a few seconds, I fought the sensation. I was describing to Peter what I was going through. I was still physically there in body, but my soul, spirit, whatever you want to call it, was no longer there. I was within my own chest cavity. The next thing I was heading upwards to the light and broke through into the most beautiful light and place of beauty. I was so amazed and it took me quite by surprise. I found myself in the realms of what I would call spirit. I was in another dimension.”
Myriam O. had an NDE-like experience resulting from an orgasm while meditating: “Suddenly, a strange and very distinct sensation in my seventh chakra caught my attention. At the same time I felt as if my consciousness were leaking through it. I then realized that the strange sensation in my seventh chakra was actually the beginning of an orgasm… and that the consciousness that was leaking out of my body… was actually me! I was completely aware of being the consciousness that was ‘leaking’ out of the physical body. I felt like a liquid that was being expelled by my body. I could not believe it. Even though I knew it was an out-of-body experience, I did not understand exactly what type of bizarre journey this would be because it was so different from the other out-of-body experiences I had had in my life.”
Cami R.‘s orgasm aftereffect from her NDE: “My sexuality/libido radically shifted and orgasms began to fill the room around me rather than my body.”
5. Sexual Intercourse in the Spirit World
In numerous NDE testimonies, NDErs describe merging with another being – whether it’s a deceased loved one, a spirit guide, or the divine light itself. This “merge” is not physical but energetic. The NDEr retains self-awareness yet simultaneously experiences a total unity of mind, emotion, and spirit with the other. This merging is described as a complete intimacy that transcends human categories of closeness. When merging with the light, the NDEr merges fully into the light of God and the experience feels as though they have “become God,” that is, knowing all things and being aware of all things and feeling all the love that exists with God.
a. The Union and Ecstasy of Soul Merge
Soul Merge With Other Souls
Nanci Danison merged with six of her “light being” friends: “After receiving my fill from Universal Knowledge, I realized that I could enter into my light being friends and live their eternal lives as they had just done my life as Nanci. So I merged my Energy into theirs as we formed a collective being of six. I could at one and the same time experience myself as the personality I had always known as ‘myself,’ as well as experiencing one of my friend’s lives as though I were my friend. Or I could experience what it was like to be a collective being.”
NDEr Betty Bethards describes the concept of soul merge: “You will be with those you love, and there is a total merger which is a much higher experience and a deeper love bond than anything you can know on the Earth plane. This total merger is like stepping inside one another’s auras, a total blending of energies. It’s a way of expressing love and sharing. What you know on Earth as a sexual relationship takes the form of a higher merger of souls. There is no need for sexual organs on the Other Side unless you choose to have them. For this merger of energies is far superior to the physical mechanics of the sexual experience. This merger is not limited to husbands and wives, but may be experienced by any two souls who are loving and caring.”
Soul Merge With Jesus
Betty Eadie describes merging with the light of Jesus: “I felt his (Jesus) light blending into mine. And as our lights merged, I felt as if I had stepped into his countenance, and I felt an utter explosion of love. It was the most unconditional love I have ever felt, and as I saw his arms open to receive me I went to him and received his complete embrace. I felt his enormous spirit and knew that I had always been a part of him, that in reality I had never been away from him… He was life itself, love itself, and his love gave me a fullness of joy, even to overflowing. I knew that I had known him from the beginning, from long before my Earth life, because my spirit remembered him. His light now began to fill my mind, and my questions were answered even before I fully asked them. His light was knowledge. It had power to fill me with all truth.”
Dr. George Ritchie describes encountering Jesus: “Suddenly I was aware that it was brighter, a lot brighter, than it had been. I stared in astonishment as the brightness increased, coming from nowhere, seeming to shine everywhere at once. All the light bulbs in the ward couldn’t give off that much light. All the bulbs in the world couldn’t! It was impossibly bright: it was like a million welders’ lamps all blazing at once. ‘I’m glad I don’t have physical eyes at this moment,’ I thought. ‘This light would destroy the retina in a tenth of a second.’ No, I corrected myself, not the light. He. He would be too bright to look at. For now I saw that it was not light but a man who had entered the room, or rather, a man made out of light, though this seemed no more possible to my mind than the incredible intensity of the brightness that made up his form. The instant I perceived him, a command formed itself in my mind. ‘Stand up!’ The words came from inside me, yet they had an authority my mere thoughts had never had. I got to my feet and as I did came the stupendous certainty: ‘You are in the presence of the Son of God.’ If this was the Son of God, then his name was Jesus. This person was power itself, older than time and yet more modern than anyone I had ever met. Above all, with that same mysterious inner certainty, I knew that this man loved me. Far more even than power, what emanated from this presence was unconditional love. An astonishing love. A love beyond my wildest imagining. This love knew every unlovable thing about me – the quarrels with my stepmother, my explosive temper, the sex thoughts I could never control, every mean, selfish thought and action since the day I was born – and accepted me just the same.”
Elaine S. felt the light of Jesus: “Now this light that started as a pinprick grew and grew AND it had a figure in the middle of it. The light FELT like the best, greatest LOVE – more than I ever had felt in my life. The light was white – a soft, unworldly white. No white on Earth. LOVE.”
Eric A. was filled with the light of Jesus: “He (Jesus) lifted me up in his arms and I was completely filled with his light and his love completely. It was the most incredible feeling I have ever experienced and I didn’t want to leave. Even though I couldn’t see him I knew this was Jesus.”
Soul Merge With God
Jayne Smith described soul merger with God: “This white light began to infiltrate my consciousness. It came into me. It seemed I went out into it. I expanded into it as it came into my field of consciousness. There was nothing I was aware of except this brilliant white light. The light brought with it the most incredible feeling of total love, total safety, total protection. I was just enveloped in it. I remember feeling almost cradled by it. It was so dynamic it was almost palpable. As I existed in this white light, in this incredible love, I began to be rapturous. The rapture built. The bliss built. My consciousness began to expand with the bliss of it all… Then I simply remember I became more blissful, more rapturous, more ecstatic. I was just filling and filling with this light and love that was in the light. The dynamics of this light are not static at all. They are so dynamic and so much going on in there of love and joy and knowledge. As you take it into yourself, or as it goes into you and you receive it, your ecstasy level just becomes tremendous. I knew that I had lost all sense of having a body. It was just my consciousness, sort of pure and free floating, and I did not think at all during this part of the experience. I had no thoughts. I was a receiving station. I merely felt and absorbed and took in and did not think at all. I reached the point in the rapture of it all where I thought to myself suddenly, the first thought. ‘I wonder how much more of this I can stand before I shatter?’ With that thought, the light began to recede. So, the universe will not let us shatter. We cannot take in more of this bliss and joy than we are able to handle at a time.”
Christian Andreason on soul merge with God: “I saw that we were indeed made in the image of God, which is an essence taken from the Creator’s own light. It is because of this light that we can never die. Every single child of God carries this light within their soul, and we call this light, spirit. As we learn how to love, we build the light of spirit within. A day will come (in a time not so far away) when all of our light(s) will have become so large that we will merge and go back to the Creator and be as ONE – just as we were in the beginning. Once we are one again, there will be a great celebration. And after a certain amount of time has passed, yet again, there will be another great explosion, only this time it will be much bigger and the process of Creation will be far more advanced.”
Thomas Sawyer on soul merge with God: “Once you enter into the light and blend with God, you become God. God is light and light is love. You can’t take a knife and cut out a part of love and take it away. If you theoretically cut love in half and take it, there’s not half love here and half love there. Each part is wholly God. The incomprehensible part is at that point at which you no longer exist and you become only light when you fully merge with the light. This is because the character and the characteristics that you are, the uniqueness that is you and nobody else, still exists when you cease to exist as a personality. But every bit of your personality is available for reincarnation. That’s the paradox part. I just kind of became little photons of light and there is only the slightest of memories of anything after that. Even though I was in my soul body, not my physical body, that which I was before the light blended in and ceased to exist. In other words, if you have pure light you have all of the masses of photons in the universe in a purified state only white light. One of the last things I can recall is that I was blending into and becoming homogeneous with that light. I had the feeling of the light just engulfing me. About the only accurate word that I can use to describe what I felt then is the word “power.” But it wasn’t an earthly type of power, it wasn’t greedy power, or an I’m-better-than-you-power. One of the purposes of the life review is to make an informed choice between remaining in spirit and returning to flesh. Should we choose to merge completely with the light of God, we will never again be able to choose, on our own decision, to return to physical life. The decision to merge in the light is the best decision. If a person dies and merges completely into the light, another reincarnation is improbable. However, it is more usual for people to have earthly attachments and not merge completely with the light. Such souls may have characteristics of their personality, which they do not want merged with the light.”
P.M.H. Atwater describes soul merger with God: “Our spirit is an individualized part of the Whole (God) and yet within it is the Whole itself (the fractal concept again). NDErs describe experiencing this one-ness when they merge fully into the light during their NDE. The drop of water merges once again with the sea to become the Whole Sea again. Perhaps a better analogy of how our spirit can exist both a part of God and yet the Whole of God is to think of our spirit as a ‘thought’ in the Mind of God. The ‘thought’ leaves the Mind of God to experience individuality as a human being. As a human being, our spirit is an individualized ‘thought’ in the Mind of God but also retains its one-ness as the Whole Mind of God. When our human life is over, our ‘thought’ returns to the Wholeness and merges into it where all the other thoughts are. The question however is this: When the thought returns to the Mind of God does it lose its individuality once it merges back into the Mind? According to Edgar Cayce, the answer is ‘no.’ The reason thoughts began leaving the Mind of God to begin with was to learn individuality while maintaining Wholeness at the same time. Otherwise, thoughts would remain as a thought in the Mind and forever by controlled by the Mind and never know individuality.”
Joseph Kerrick describes how we merge with God through love: “We have all forgotten that we were the One original being. So we live out our lives in the illusion of separateness. Our aim is for all of us to come together again, to merge back into the original being and become the One we truly are beneath the surface. The way to do this was love. Love is simply the name of the natural force which, like gravity, tends to pull everything back together. As human beings, the way we experience this force is through love. As fragmented creatures, our job is to love each other and become one again.”
Josiane Antonette describes merging with the light: “I merge with the light! I am the light, and the light is me. ‘From the light we have come, and to the light we shall all return,’ repeats the voice. What a joy to bathe in this incredible all-knowing, all-loving.”
In Hindu afterlife beliefs, “moksha” is the traditional Sanskrit term for release or liberation from the endless chain of deaths and rebirths. In the southern Asian religious tradition, it represents the supreme goal of human strivings. What happens to the individual after reaching moksha? In Upanishadic Hinduism, the individual Atman (soul) is believed to merge into the cosmic Brahma (God). A traditional image is that of a drop of water that, when dropped into the ocean, loses its individuality and becomes one with the sea. Although widespread, this metaphor does not quite capture the significance of this merger. Rather than losing one’s individuality, the Upanishadic understanding is that the Atman is never separate from Brahma; hence, individuality is illusory, and moksha is simply waking up from the dream of separateness. The most that the classical texts of Hinduism say about the state of one who has merged with the godhead is that the person has become one with pure “beingness,” consciousness, and bliss.
b. Souls Attempting Sex in Hell Realms
Dr. George Ritchie observed earthbound souls in hell trying in vain to have sex: Jesus and Ritchie viewed a realm that was jammed with hordes of angry, frustrated, and miserable earthbound souls who were locked in fights to the death. Yet, nobody could be injured. Ritchie realized that this was hell where souls are enslaved to habits of destructive thought-patterns. He also witnessed frustrated souls attempting to perform sexual acts. Ritchie states: “”If I suspected that I was seeing hell, now I was sure of it. These creatures seemed locked into habits of mind and emotion, into hatred, lust, destructive thought-patterns. Even more hideous than the bites and kicks they exchanged, were the sexual abuses many were performing in feverish pantomime. Perversions I had never dreamed of were being vainly attempted all around us. It was impossible to tell if the howls of frustration which reached us were actual sounds or only the transference of despairing thoughts.”
Howard Storm was physically humiliated in the most degrading ways by earthbound souls in hell: “By this time it was almost complete darkness, and I had the sense that instead of there being twenty or thirty, there were an innumerable host of them. Each one seemed set on coming in for the sport they got from hurting me. My attempts to fight back only provoked greater merriment. They began to physically humiliate me in the most degrading ways. As I continued to fight on and on, I was aware that they weren’t in any hurry to win. They were playing with me just as a cat plays with a mouse. Every new assault brought howls of cacophony. Then at some point, they began to tear off pieces of my flesh. To my horror I realized I was being taken apart and eaten alive, slowly, so that their entertainment would last as long a possible. At no time did I ever have any sense that the beings who seduced and attacked me were anything other than human beings.”
Arthur Yensen describes the impossibility of satisfying sexual desire in hell: “[Hell is] a place where everyone retains their physical desires without a way to satisfy them. For example, the glutton can’t eat because he has no physical body. The alcoholic can’t drink for the same reason, neither can the smoker smoke, nor the drug addict get a fix. The miser can’t protect his money, and the sex-maniac, who doesn’t believe in love, finds it impossible to satisfy his lust. Hell is real hell for anyone who lives only to satisfy his selfish desires.”
6. NDE Research Findings by Gender and Sexual Identity
a. Dr. Liz Dale’s LGBT NDE Research
Dr. Pamela Kircher, author of “Love Is The Link,” had this to say about Dr. Liz Dale‘s research, her book “Crossing Over and Coming Home,” and about NDEs in the LGBTQ community: “People in the gay community have been so close to death on so may occasions since the onslaught of the AlDS epidemic that they hare become the natural experts on NDEs in our time. Because they not only have had NDEs themselves, but are also surrounded by other people who had had NDEs. These communities are becoming a prototype of what communities might be. We are acutely aware of our own mortality and live from the values learned in an NDE. Dr. Liz Dale’s compilation of NDE stories from the gay community is a welcome and timely addition to the NDE literature. Her research into NDEs in the gay community is ground-breaking.”
b. P.M.H. Atwater’s NDE Research
P.M.H. Atwater, author of “A Manual For Developing Humans,” states her cross-gender analysis found that while both sexes experience the same core stages, men tend to suppress emotional language when recounting their NDEs, possibly reflecting social conditioning rather than spiritual difference. She states: “Creed, race, gender, and sexual preference have no real meaning to God. No matter who we are, we were all children joined under one God. The only rule is God’s true law: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
c. Dr. Bruce Greyson’s NDE Research
Dr. Bruce Greyson found no statistically significant difference between male and female NDEs in terms of aftereffects such as decreased fear of death, heightened spirituality, or psychic sensitivity.
d. Dr. Ian Stevenson’s NDE Research
The late Dr. Ian Stevenson, the foremost reincarnation researcher, suggests that gender identity confusion may derive from influences of a previous life as a member of the opposite sex. In his study of gender dysphoria, Dr. Stevenson reported the case of a girl who claims to remember a previous life as a man, in his paper “The Southeast Asian Interpretation of Gender Dysphoria: An Illustrative Case Report.”
According to Dr. Stevenson, many of children with past-life memories show abilities or talents they had in their previous lives. Dr. Stevenson’s research led him to conclude that homosexuality is a natural human trait resulting from the reincarnation of a person of one gender as a person of the opposite gender. Such people must adjust to their new gender and sexuality at an early age. Former girls who are reborn as boys may wish to dress as girls or prefer to play with girls rather than boys. Former boys who are reborn as girls may wish to dress as boys or prefer to play with boys rather than girls. Former men who are reborn as women will be attracted to women and will therefore be lesbian. Former women who are reborn as men will be attracted to men and will therefore be gay.
In Dr. Stevenson’s paper, “The Phenomenon of Claimed Memories of Previous Lives: Possible Interpretations and Importance,” he presents the hypothesis that previous lives can contribute to the further understanding of several conditions, disorders, or abnormalities (such as phobias observed in early infancy, gender identity disorder, and behavioral and physical differences in one-egg [monozygotic] twins) that are not adequately explained by genetic and/or environmental influences.
Other reincarnation researchers, Dr. Jim B. Tucker and Dr. Jürgen Keil, in their paper “Can Cultural Beliefs Cause a Gender Identity Disorder?” describe a child in Thailand who was born with a birthmark that matched a mark made on the body of his deceased grandmother. As he got older, he claimed to be his grandmother reborn, and he demonstrated cross-gender behavior.
e. Dr. Kenneth Ring’s NDE Research
Dr. Kenneth Ring’s research conclusions from his Connecticut Study: “No one type of person was especially likely to have this experience. It cut across race, gender, age, education, marital status, and social class.”
f. Kevin Williams’ NDE Research
Modern medical research has found that the brains of homosexuals are genetically different than heterosexual brains much like male brains are different than female brains. A study by Dr. Simon LaVey reported in Science News, August 31, 1991. Vol. 140, No. 9, page 140 discovered this fact. Such research reveals homosexuality to be a natural process; and therefore, suggests homosexuality is a divinely created process.
Anyone who has grown up on a farm or ranch, as I have, knows that farm animals frequently exhibit homosexual behavior. These facts of nature, and of God, discredits self-righteous religious beliefs that homosexuality is merely a preference – a sin or a lifestyle – which people can easily chose to accept or abandon. Near-death and metaphysical evidence shows people are born the way they are for a higher purpose known to God and our Higher Selves. It also makes logical sense that God creates and loves everyone unconditionally no matter what their sexuality.
And finally, do you think God really cares whether a person prefers a man’s genitals over a woman’s genitals regarding sex? My understanding is God is cares about a person’s “heart” and not so much about their genitals.
Read Kevin Williams’ “The Biblical Case Supporting Homosexuality.”
7. Dr. Liz Dale and Kevin Williams LGBT NDE Study
In Dr. Liz Dale and Kevin Williams 2022 book, “Crossing Over and Coming Home 2,” the authors published their findings in the NDE aftereffects involving LGBT NDEs and non-gay NDEs. In a survey, the authors asked NDErs sixteen “Yes or No” questions concerning their NDE and sexual identity.
This is an analysis of the survey statistics from 44 NDErs from Dr. Liz Dale’s and Kevin Williams’ study as of April 2020.
From Question #01, there were 18 LGBT NDErs and 26 Non-Gay NDErs who responded to our survey representing 30.8% more Non-Gay NDErs.
From Question #02: “Were there any changes in your values, attitudes, beliefs since your NDE other than religious, spiritual or afterlife beliefs?,” 36.4% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 0.0% more, the same amount of LGBT and Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that LGBT NDErs are less likely to have any such changes compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #03: “Were there any changes in your personality since your NDE?,” 29.2% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 50.0% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that changes in personality occur significantly less in LGBT NDErs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #04: “Were there any changes in your outlook about life since your NDE?,” 29.2% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 50.0% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that changes in outlook about life occur significantly less in LGBT NDErs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #05: “Were there any changes in your religious or spiritual beliefs since your NDE?,” 15.8% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 71.4% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that such changes occur significantly less in LGBT NDErs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #06: “Were there any changes in your relationships, spouse, partner, friends since your NDE?,” 45.8% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 60.0% more LGBT NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that such relationship changes occur significantly less in LGBT NDErs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #07: “Were there any distressing aftereffects from your NDE?,” 35.3% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 22.2% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that such distressing aftereffects occur less in LGBT NDErs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #08: “Were there any changes in your dreams or dream content since your NDE?,” 23.5% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 44.4% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that having such dream changes occur less in LGBT NDErs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #09: “Did you have any problems being around electromagnetic fields since your NDE?,” 9.1% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 46.7% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that having such electromagnetic problems are significantly less common in LGBT NDErs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #10: “Were there any changes in sensitivity to light since your NDE?,” 31.1% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 30.0% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that LGBT NDErs are less susceptible to such changes compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #11: “Were there any psychological challenges since your NDE?,” 35.0% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 16.7% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that LGBT NDErs have significantly less psychological aftereffects compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #12: “Was there any difficulty reintegrating after your NDE?,” 15.8% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 71.4% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that LGBT NDErs are significantly less likely to have difficulty reintegrating their NDEs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #13: “Were there any changes in your jobs, school, interests, or hobbies?,” 34.8% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 0.0% more, the same amount of LGBT and Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that LGBT NDErs have less such changes compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #14: “Did your I.Q. change after your NDE?,” 9.1% more LGBT NDErs responded “Yes” and 56.3% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that slightly more LGBT NDErs have changes in I.Q. compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #15: “Did you have any paranormal experiences (e.g. apparitions) since your NDE?,” 41.2% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 11.1% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest that significantly less LGBT NDErs have paranormal experience aftereffects compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
From Question #16: “Were there any changes in your feelings of compassion, caring, loving since your NDE?,” 40.0% more Non-Gay NDErs responded “Yes” and 66.7% more LGBT NDErs responded “No”. Does this suggest LGBT NDErs have less changes in compassion, caring and loving after NDEs compared to Non-Gay NDErs?
8. Conclusion
NDE testimonies show our core identity is consciousness and love, not gender. On the Other Side, NDErs describe themselves and the beings they meet as light. Angels, spirit guides, the Being of Light, and even God are most often perceived as beyond male or female, embodying qualities we label both, or neither.
The afterlife equivalent of sexual intercourse is “soul-merge” – a complete sharing of consciousness that transcends physical mechanics. Ecstatic union between beings through orgasm can produce this expanded NDE condition.
LGBTQ NDErs report the same unconditional acceptance and transformative love as anyone else – often with the healing realization that God’s love is never contingent on sexual identity or orientation. When NDErs return from death, they often embody greater harmony between male and female aspects within themselves – a reflection of the unity they glimpsed beyond the body.
Because Earth is a school, gender is one of its lessons. NDE testimonies point to a larger curriculum: learning to see every person and ourselves as a Being of Light in progress. When we lead with love, we align ourselves with what NDErs consistently describe as Ultimate Reality. Love is the truest expression we have for God; and this love is the way home. God honors every expression of being as part of its infinite spectrum of love.
